Monday, September 4th, 2000 - #1287

Guest: no guest

Host: Adam, Dr. Drew

4.39 (91 votes)

Listen to theShow

Show Summary:

Dr. Drews Birthday, Adam gives gift of gas.

Doc Drew's birthday, Adam has best gas night ever.

It's Drew's birthday! For his present, Adam gives him really bad gas, starting right at the beginning of the show.

Caller (Jeff) put a chain down his urethra and thinks it reached his bladder. The chain went all the way down and he can't get it out. Drew busts out the pictures and shows how it can't reach the bladder.

Drew leaves the room after this call after a bad fart from Adam. Anderson berates Adam with drops and Adam gets pissed. Adam is laughing so much he's almost dry heaving.

A caller has a bent penis. In the middle of this call, Drew leaves the room again and Anderson comes in to get his headphones. He returns for the next caller (Jen), who thinks she has syphillis. Adam hangs up on her for not answering a question correctly.

Chrissy, 17, has abnormal menstrual bleeding.

Ann brings pie into the studio.

Ryan calls in. This is the guy who called in when Queens of the Stone Age was on, claiming he saw them in Arizona... but they were never in Arizona. His friends listened to the show and now think he's a huge idiot. He's calling in trying to rectify the situation.

Adam does a hilarious impersonation of himself to announce Drew's birthday: "He's 62 years... young, AH HA HA! AH HA HA, HA HA HA! Yeah.." Meanwhile, Drew starts having Ann bring in matches and lysol to fend off the vicious gases. He goes throughout three matchbooks before the episode is over.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INCOMPLETE TRANSCRIBING

LOVELINE 2000-09-04

ADAM CAROLLA and DR DREW

0000 INTRODUCTION

[botched intro; laughter over Adam's pre-show fart]

DD "Oh, the humanity!"

AC "Let me enjoy my gas... Drew, shut that door."

[introduction]

AC announces it's Drew's 43rd birthday

0320 DEAN, 18

Gay friend denies playing head-games, trying to turn him gay

AC-no sit-down necessary; give space as a consequence for behaviour

0435 JEFF, 14

Threaded a beaded-chain down urethra but it slipped into bladder, still urinates normally

DD-have it retrieved by a urologist.

suggests people who insert foreign objects into body are usually disturbed

AC farts, DD leaves room

AC "Get in here, do your job!"

0820 JEREMY, 16

Penis curves 45 degrees to the left, wants it straightened

DD-not abnormal

[AC farts]

AC "Oh my God. Drew, as a doctor, make a diagnosis on this... oh, I wish Jimmy was here."

AC "That ain't normal, is it?... Drew's not on mic, he's gagging in the corner."

DD "Adam. Not. Normal. Human. Emission."

DD-800 units Vitamin E/day. Operations cut elongated side like a pie/wedge

DD-don't be concerned unless having difficulty with erection

1325 JEN, 21

[DD begins call behind glass of engineer studio]

Swollen throat and rash after kiss

AC-predicts she's good looking by her horrible attitude, ends call.

AC-theory: nobody humbles good-looking chicks by telling them to shut up

[AC begins rant, farts into microphone, announces DD is gagging in hallway]

1725 KRISSY, 17

Menstrual bleeding doesn't clot, has tissue chunks

AC-mutters his microphone now smells

DD "Any chance you're pregnant?" (No.)

DD-Unless there is pain, it's likely just the way you're developing

2000 RENE, 16

Previous caller: Mom's BF was making sexual references towards her

Should she remain living with her 20yr old BF?

AC "I give it my blessing"

DD "You still need a parent to launch you into adulthood."

DD-make sure your needs are attended to in the relationship

2415 AUSTIN, 17

Recommends Jimmy Kimmel as AC's fill-in host [Kimmel drop]

Made brownies with fish tank blue dye so friends could pee blue

DD "Oh my god!" x2

AC "That is fascinating work."

2540 RYAN, 16

Previous caller: hallucinated at QOTSA concert

GF recorded LL episode and played it for friends who now think he's "retarded"

AC-don't exacerbate it. "Lay low, things blow over."

2755 JUSTIN, 14

Caller learned his friend's ex- was unfaithful; fingered twice. Should he tell friend?

DD-they are all ex-relationships. "It's not any of your business."

2955 ADAM, 15

Is marihuana affecting his medication?

350mg depakote, 100mg zoloft, been on trazodone/ambien/clonopan...

DD-won't experience significant mood stabilization when smoking pot

AC-your brain isn't working as well as it should, don't screw it up with the pot

DD-if you're an addict, get that treated because it might be the underlying problem

AC-do what your doctors tell you, work on yourself, and don't smoke the weed

3200 TONY, 14

Has problem w/ nipples: they look like a circle with a folding-in nipple crease

AC on scratchpad "Your nipples are spherical?"

DD "Normal."

Comments (26)

  1. Liface

    It’s Drew’s birthday! For his present, Adam gives him really bad gas, starting right at the beginning of the show.

    Caller (Jeff) put a chain down his urethra and thinks it reached his bladder. The chain went all the way down and he can’t get it out. Drew busts out the pictures and shows how it can’t reach the bladder.

    Drew leaves the room after this call after a bad fart from Adam. Anderson berates Adam with drops and Adam gets pissed. Adam is laughing so much he’s almost dry heaving.

    A caller has a bent penis. In the middle of this call, Drew leaves the room again and Anderson comes in to get his headphones. He returns for the next caller (Jen), who thinks she has syphillis. Adam hangs up on her for not answering a question correctly.

    Chrissy, 17, has abnormal menstrual bleeding.

    Ann brings pie into the studio.

    Ryan calls in. This is the guy who called in when Queens of the Stone Age was on, claiming he saw them in Arizona… but they were never in Arizona. His friends listened to the show and now think he’s a huge idiot. He’s calling in trying to rectify the situation.

    Adam does a hilarious impersonation of himself to announce Drew’s birthday: “He’s 62 years… young, AH HA HA! AH HA HA, HA HA HA! Yeah..” Meanwhile, Drew starts having Ann bring in matches and lysol to fend off the vicious gases. He goes throughout three matchbooks before the episode is over.

  2. 00000001

    INCOMPLETE TRANSCRIBING
    LOVELINE 2000-09-04
    ADAM CAROLLA and DR DREW

    0000 INTRODUCTION
    [botched intro; laughter over Adam’s pre-show fart]
    DD “Oh, the humanity!”
    AC “Let me enjoy my gas… Drew, shut that door.”
    [introduction]
    AC announces it’s Drew’s 43rd birthday

    0320 DEAN, 18
    Gay friend denies playing head-games, trying to turn him gay
    AC-no sit-down necessary; give space as a consequence for behaviour

    0435 JEFF, 14
    Threaded a beaded-chain down urethra but it slipped into bladder, still urinates normally
    DD-have it retrieved by a urologist.
    suggests people who insert foreign objects into body are usually disturbed
    AC farts, DD leaves room
    AC “Get in here, do your job!”

    0820 JEREMY, 16
    Penis curves 45 degrees to the left, wants it straightened
    DD-not abnormal
    [AC farts]
    AC “Oh my God. Drew, as a doctor, make a diagnosis on this… oh, I wish Jimmy was here.”
    AC “That ain’t normal, is it?… Drew’s not on mic, he’s gagging in the corner.”
    DD “Adam. Not. Normal. Human. Emission.”
    DD-800 units Vitamin E/day. Operations cut elongated side like a pie/wedge
    DD-don’t be concerned unless having difficulty with erection

    1325 JEN, 21
    [DD begins call behind glass of engineer studio]
    Swollen throat and rash after kiss
    AC-predicts she’s good looking by her horrible attitude, ends call.
    AC-theory: nobody humbles good-looking chicks by telling them to shut up
    [AC begins rant, farts into microphone, announces DD is gagging in hallway]

    1725 KRISSY, 17
    Menstrual bleeding doesn’t clot, has tissue chunks
    AC-mutters his microphone now smells
    DD “Any chance you’re pregnant?” (No.)
    DD-Unless there is pain, it’s likely just the way you’re developing

    2000 RENE, 16
    Previous caller: Mom’s BF was making sexual references towards her
    Should she remain living with her 20yr old BF?
    AC “I give it my blessing”
    DD “You still need a parent to launch you into adulthood.”
    DD-make sure your needs are attended to in the relationship

    2415 AUSTIN, 17
    Recommends Jimmy Kimmel as AC’s fill-in host [Kimmel drop]
    Made brownies with fish tank blue dye so friends could pee blue
    DD “Oh my god!” x2
    AC “That is fascinating work.”

    2540 RYAN, 16
    Previous caller: hallucinated at QOTSA concert
    GF recorded LL episode and played it for friends who now think he’s “retarded”
    AC-don’t exacerbate it. “Lay low, things blow over.”

    2755 JUSTIN, 14
    Caller learned his friend’s ex- was unfaithful; fingered twice. Should he tell friend?
    DD-they are all ex-relationships. “It’s not any of your business.”

    2955 ADAM, 15
    Is marihuana affecting his medication?
    350mg depakote, 100mg zoloft, been on trazodone/ambien/clonopan…
    DD-won’t experience significant mood stabilization when smoking pot
    AC-your brain isn’t working as well as it should, don’t screw it up with the pot
    DD-if you’re an addict, get that treated because it might be the underlying problem
    AC-do what your doctors tell you, work on yourself, and don’t smoke the weed

    3200 TONY, 14
    Has problem w/ nipples: they look like a circle with a folding-in nipple crease
    AC on scratchpad “Your nipples are spherical?”
    DD “Normal.”

  3. 00000001

    Please edit my previous submission by changing AT to A. Specifically from:

    2540 RYAN, 16
    Previous caller: hallucinated at QOTSA concert

    To:

    2540 RYAN, 16
    Previous caller: hallucinated a QOTSA concert

  4. contakt321

    I have to say, not a fan of fart humor which is pretty much the entire show, that said – hearing Adam have so much fun, is funny.

    Also, the chain in the urethra call made me cringe – who would do that, and why. OUCH.

  5. Landlubber

    Adam’s biggest gas night in the history of the show. It. Does. Not. Stop. He blows Drew right out of the studio multiple times, until they finally just give drew headphones and a mic with an extension cord so he can broadcast from the hall.

    Before that happens Drew honestly tells Adam that it’s not normal human emission and that he should get checked out.

    Between Adam farting into the mic, laughing his ass off, and yelling at Drew for spraying air freshener in the studio, they barely get through any calls.

  6. tsherman87

    The first 20 minutes of this episode are epic, When Adam releases his gas Drew seems to grunt like he’s been punched in the stomach. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard!

  7. Lateralus

    Fartpocalypse 2000. Happy birthday drew! It’s actually his bday again in a couple days from when I typed this comment. Adam laughs harder than I ever heard. Tons of drops which I love. I always think ill be grossed out by the farting, but end laughing a ton haha

  8. Landlubber

    Young Justin calls with what appears to be a riddle, but is actually just a Loveline caller attempting to form a question.

    Justin: “My best friend’s girlfriend is cheating on him and my ex girlfriend told me that well they’re best friends my ex girlfriend she told him…told me well she told me that she got fingered twice while they…while my boyf…while my best friend was going out with her boyfriend….”

    Adam: “So let me get this straight. You fingered your dad?”

    Justin: “No. My best friend’s girlfriend got fingered by my ex girlfriend’s boyfriend.”

    Adam: “Same thing’s happened to me a thousand times.”

    Justin: “I’m wondering if I should tell him.”

    Adam: “…..I don’t…I’m going with no.”

  9. AmishComputerUser

    About 46 minutes in, coming back from break with the I Disappear riff, the pause where Adam usually rants quickly about Loveline Outlaw Radio he farts instead. One of the best things I’ve ever heard in my life ever!

  10. bill1through4

    Definitely a candidate for worst episode (with Adam) in the entire archive. Adam ruins the show with his fart obsession. Occasional fart humor is funny, but how could he possibly think it’s so constantly hilarious?

    Almost as bad as his unlistenable podcast.

  11. searsino

    Ignore comments disregarding fart humor. If your a guy then you’ll love this one…. what’s not funny about an adult man-child taking the microphone and pushing it close up to his ass for all of the nation to hear his sounds? The answer is that it’s hilarious. If you ever want to know just how many craps (haha) Adam gives about what the network suits thought (talk less, no drops from Anderson)

Leave a Comment:

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Calls & Tags (1)

You must be logged in to add a call/tag.