Monday, September 4th, 2000 - #1287
Guest: no guest
Host: Adam, Dr. Drew
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Dr. Drews Birthday, Adam gives gift of gas.
Doc Drew's birthday, Adam has best gas night ever.
It's Drew's birthday! For his present, Adam gives him really bad gas, starting right at the beginning of the show.
Caller (Jeff) put a chain down his urethra and thinks it reached his bladder. The chain went all the way down and he can't get it out. Drew busts out the pictures and shows how it can't reach the bladder.
Drew leaves the room after this call after a bad fart from Adam. Anderson berates Adam with drops and Adam gets pissed. Adam is laughing so much he's almost dry heaving.
A caller has a bent penis. In the middle of this call, Drew leaves the room again and Anderson comes in to get his headphones. He returns for the next caller (Jen), who thinks she has syphillis. Adam hangs up on her for not answering a question correctly.
Chrissy, 17, has abnormal menstrual bleeding.
Ann brings pie into the studio.
Ryan calls in. This is the guy who called in when Queens of the Stone Age was on, claiming he saw them in Arizona... but they were never in Arizona. His friends listened to the show and now think he's a huge idiot. He's calling in trying to rectify the situation.
Adam does a hilarious impersonation of himself to announce Drew's birthday: "He's 62 years... young, AH HA HA! AH HA HA, HA HA HA! Yeah.." Meanwhile, Drew starts having Ann bring in matches and lysol to fend off the vicious gases. He goes throughout three matchbooks before the episode is over.
ADAM CAROLLA and DR DREW
[botched intro; laughter over Adam's pre-show fart]
DD "Oh, the humanity!"
AC "Let me enjoy my gas... Drew, shut that door."
AC announces it's Drew's 43rd birthday
0320 DEAN, 18
Gay friend denies playing head-games, trying to turn him gay
AC-no sit-down necessary; give space as a consequence for behaviour
0435 JEFF, 14
Threaded a beaded-chain down urethra but it slipped into bladder, still urinates normally
DD-have it retrieved by a urologist.
suggests people who insert foreign objects into body are usually disturbed
AC farts, DD leaves room
AC "Get in here, do your job!"
0820 JEREMY, 16
Penis curves 45 degrees to the left, wants it straightened
AC "Oh my God. Drew, as a doctor, make a diagnosis on this... oh, I wish Jimmy was here."
AC "That ain't normal, is it?... Drew's not on mic, he's gagging in the corner."
DD "Adam. Not. Normal. Human. Emission."
DD-800 units Vitamin E/day. Operations cut elongated side like a pie/wedge
DD-don't be concerned unless having difficulty with erection
1325 JEN, 21
[DD begins call behind glass of engineer studio]
Swollen throat and rash after kiss
AC-predicts she's good looking by her horrible attitude, ends call.
AC-theory: nobody humbles good-looking chicks by telling them to shut up
[AC begins rant, farts into microphone, announces DD is gagging in hallway]
1725 KRISSY, 17
Menstrual bleeding doesn't clot, has tissue chunks
AC-mutters his microphone now smells
DD "Any chance you're pregnant?" (No.)
DD-Unless there is pain, it's likely just the way you're developing
2000 RENE, 16
Previous caller: Mom's BF was making sexual references towards her
Should she remain living with her 20yr old BF?
AC "I give it my blessing"
DD "You still need a parent to launch you into adulthood."
DD-make sure your needs are attended to in the relationship
2415 AUSTIN, 17
Recommends Jimmy Kimmel as AC's fill-in host [Kimmel drop]
Made brownies with fish tank blue dye so friends could pee blue
DD "Oh my god!" x2
AC "That is fascinating work."
2540 RYAN, 16
Previous caller: hallucinated at QOTSA concert
GF recorded LL episode and played it for friends who now think he's "retarded"
AC-don't exacerbate it. "Lay low, things blow over."
2755 JUSTIN, 14
Caller learned his friend's ex- was unfaithful; fingered twice. Should he tell friend?
DD-they are all ex-relationships. "It's not any of your business."
2955 ADAM, 15
Is marihuana affecting his medication?
350mg depakote, 100mg zoloft, been on trazodone/ambien/clonopan...
DD-won't experience significant mood stabilization when smoking pot
AC-your brain isn't working as well as it should, don't screw it up with the pot
DD-if you're an addict, get that treated because it might be the underlying problem
AC-do what your doctors tell you, work on yourself, and don't smoke the weed
3200 TONY, 14
Has problem w/ nipples: they look like a circle with a folding-in nipple crease
AC on scratchpad "Your nipples are spherical?"