Wednesday, May 19th, 1999 - #949
Guest: The Jerky Boys
Host: Adam, Dr. Drew
Listen to theShow
Show Summary:
THe Jerky Boys are late tonight despite the station sending out a limo to pick them up. The limo, it turns out, is MIA, and Drew agrees to be boring again tonight before mentioning something he found out about second trimester abortions.
Caller Adrian (17) has had a crush on her long-time best friend for several years, and after smoking marijuana together three weeks ago they made out. Adrian wants to be officially together, but her friend has a boyfriend of 3 years.
Crystal (23) is bothered by the fact that her boyfriend and his lesbian mother are creepily close, and now the mother is hitting on Crystal. Crystal turns out to be a stripper, and the mother shows up at Crystal's work. Adam is fascinated by what a "smooth operator" this guy is that he can live at home and still manage to date a stripper. Eventually, Adam moves on to complaining about the prices of Pepsi in all-nude clubs.
Gary (18) tells Adam and Drew they "are a real trip" before asking whether his lifestyle is healthy. He's abstinent because he feels that having sex with someone he doesn't love is disgusting, and Drew assures him that the other side certainly has their problems, as displayed on the show nightly. Adam accuses Gary of being a big guy, which Gary confirms. Adam muses about whether this system of morals came before or after Gary not getting laid.
Ginette (21) wants to know about loss of sensitivity in taste buds due to a tongue piercing. Drew talks about how he threatens his kids by telling them he's going to get a piercing and how they freak out. He thinks this is hilarious.
Mike (23) is concerned that when he has to go back home next month for his brother's wedding, he's going to end up having to tell his parents he's gay. They're completely fine with homosexuality (Mike has a second brother that's also gay and out and his parents are members of PFLAG), but he also doesn't want to steal his straight brother's thunder.
Coming back from break, the Jerky Boys are nowhere to be found. Adam says he likes meeting new people, but he doesn't really care if they never show because he prefers doing the show without guests. Drew then gets indignant about how when he and Adam do anybody's show, they have to show up hours beforehand. Adam rants about this, then tells a story about going on Jenny Jones' show being the epitome of this.
Cory (17) wants to know how long his girlfriend has to be on birth control before they can stop using condoms. Drew and Adam talk about the different kinds of birth control pills.
Amanda (16) is in a relationship with two best friends, one of whom she's having sex with. After some excuses, she reveals that she has Hodgkins Lymphoma. Eventually Adam just picks one for her.
Jackie (19) gets interrupted by Adam before she can ask her question when Adam takes issue with Phone Screener Jerry's decision to put "HELP!" on the end of her question on the screen. Adam does reveal her problem when reading it out loud to indicate what he means, which is that she is insanely jealous and afraid that her boyfriend is going to cheat on her.
Coming back from the second break, Johnny and Kamal are in the studio. Adam has figured out why he doesn't remember their last visit (Chris Hardwick was filling in for him at the time), and he discusses the Jerky Boys' work with them, and the difficulties of legally prank calling people. Drew wants to take a call since they only have 2 minutes left in the segment, and Adam yells at him for interrupting but takes a call anyway.
Rachel (21) wants her boyfriend of two years to initiate sex more. He even goes so far as to say he has his headache when she wants sex.
After the break, Adam blames the driver for getting lost on the way to the studio and making the Jerky Boys late. They laugh, and clarify that he was given faulty directions. "Synchronized Swimming" off their new album is played, and afterward Adam asks about their process.
Elder (20) tells the Jerky Boys they are inspiring. He's a Mormon missionary who hasn't masturbated since he converted to Mormonism two years ago. He wants to know if this can hurt him physically. Drew and Adam immediately call him on looking for a doctor's note to beat off. Adam asks about wet dreams, telling Elder it's like God giving him a handjob, then tells him to just beat off again because it bothers Adam that he doesn't. The Jerky Boys say that if any religious people think masturbation is wrong, they should go to the zoo and look at the chimps. Adam says the same thing goes for throwing feces.
Jesse (15) is worried about a friend whose fiance beats her. She's 30, and a friend of his mom's. He claims that he has Native American powers that allow him to travel to her house and see this happen. Adams wants to know what his range is, and the Jerky Boys suggest that he become a fast food delivery person because he could make great tips. Adam and Drew question further, and tell him that all he can do it tell his mother. Adam then asks Jesse to visit them in the studio, then mocks him for being ridiculously vague. Adam continues on, suggesting a career in law enforcement, and Anderson busts out the Unsolved Mysteries theme. Drew sadly laments that Jesse needs serious help.
Heather was on hold for an hour and apparently is gone.
Ariel (20) joins in the mocking of Jesse. She's calling about her boyfriend, who can't force himself to get an erection, but gets them randomly throughout the day otherwise. The conversation eventually turns to Ron Jeremy and his various parlor tricks involving his penis until the break.
Tina (20) has a problem with her boyfriend's habit of choking her as he orgasms.
Heather (23) is trying to concieve, and wants Drew's advice for when her birth control will wear off enough that her chances of conception shoot back up to normal. She also wants to know when in her cycle is best. Adam is unsure about a home-renter having a kid, but she reveals she's a preschool teacher and both Adam and Drew give her a pass.
The conversation turns to doctor's offices and erections while waiting in your underwear, and they play "Hair Vitamins" off the new Jerky Boys album before the break.
Kyle (17) is sleeping with 3 different girls, and just found out that one used to have the clap but had it treated before they started sleeping together.
A different Kyle (18) has a stance on abortion that sounds like he came up with it while he was high, and Adam asks how much he smokes (answer: a lot). Adam has to explain the other side's stance to Kyle since he doesn't seem to understand it. Kyle's never had a serious relationship, and wants to know if not having relationships as a teenager will make his relationships as an adult disfunctional.
Adam wants to take a caller who's been on hold a long time, but Drew wants to go to break. Adam tells caller Sophia (on hold for 74 minutes) that Drew will talk to her during the break.
Coming back from break, they play one more cut from the Jerky Boys' album. They plug their album and the ICP movie they're in once more before the show ends.
bottz924
Giovanni
Maybe it’s just because I’m not familiar with their characters, but holy shit are the Jerky Boys completely unfunny. They constantly break into their random voices for no reason, and only once or twice was it at all amusing. The pranks they play are horribly unfunny, too. They sound like the prank calls my idiot friends and I made in high school–the kind that are only amusing to the guys that make them because they don’t actually know what’s funny. Thankfully they show up late and don’t talk a whole lot.
THe Jerky Boys are late tonight despite the station sending out a limo to pick them up. The limo, it turns out, is MIA, and Drew agrees to be boring again tonight before mentioning something he found out about second trimester abortions.
Caller Adrian (17) has had a crush on her long-time best friend for several years, and after smoking marijuana together three weeks ago they made out. Adrian wants to be officially together, but her friend has a boyfriend of 3 years.
Crystal (23) is bothered by the fact that her boyfriend and his lesbian mother are creepily close, and now the mother is hitting on Crystal. Crystal turns out to be a stripper, and the mother shows up at Crystal’s work. Adam is fascinated by what a “smooth operator” this guy is that he can live at home and still manage to date a stripper. Eventually, Adam moves on to complaining about the prices of Pepsi in all-nude clubs.
Gary (18) tells Adam and Drew they “are a real trip” before asking whether his lifestyle is healthy. He’s abstinent because he feels that having sex with someone he doesn’t love is disgusting, and Drew assures him that the other side certainly has their problems, as displayed on the show nightly. Adam accuses Gary of being a big guy, which Gary confirms. Adam muses about whether this system of morals came before or after Gary not getting laid.
Ginette (21) wants to know about loss of sensitivity in taste buds due to a tongue piercing. Drew talks about how he threatens his kids by telling them he’s going to get a piercing and how they freak out. He thinks this is hilarious.
Mike (23) is concerned that when he has to go back home next month for his brother’s wedding, he’s going to end up having to tell his parents he’s gay. They’re completely fine with homosexuality (Mike has a second brother that’s also gay and out and his parents are members of PFLAG), but he also doesn’t want to steal his straight brother’s thunder.
Coming back from break, the Jerky Boys are nowhere to be found. Adam says he likes meeting new people, but he doesn’t really care if they never show because he prefers doing the show without guests. Drew then gets indignant about how when he and Adam do anybody’s show, they have to show up hours beforehand. Adam rants about this, then tells a story about going on Jenny Jones’ show being the epitome of this.
Cory (17) wants to know how long his girlfriend has to be on birth control before they can stop using condoms. Drew and Adam talk about the different kinds of birth control pills.
Amanda (16) is in a relationship with two best friends, one of whom she’s having sex with. After some excuses, she reveals that she has Hodgkins Lymphoma. Eventually Adam just picks one for her.
Jackie (19) gets interrupted by Adam before she can ask her question when Adam takes issue with Phone Screener Jerry’s decision to put “HELP!” on the end of her question on the screen. Adam does reveal her problem when reading it out loud to indicate what he means, which is that she is insanely jealous and afraid that her boyfriend is going to cheat on her.
Coming back from the second break, Johnny and Kamal are in the studio. Adam has figured out why he doesn’t remember their last visit (Chris Hardwick was filling in for him at the time), and he discusses the Jerky Boys’ work with them, and the difficulties of legally prank calling people. Drew wants to take a call since they only have 2 minutes left in the segment, and Adam yells at him for interrupting but takes a call anyway.
Rachel (21) wants her boyfriend of two years to initiate sex more. He even goes so far as to say he has his headache when she wants sex.
After the break, Adam blames the driver for getting lost on the way to the studio and making the Jerky Boys late. They laugh, and clarify that he was given faulty directions. “Synchronized Swimming” off their new album is played, and afterward Adam asks about their process.
Elder (20) tells the Jerky Boys they are inspiring. He’s a Mormon missionary who hasn’t masturbated since he converted to Mormonism two years ago. He wants to know if this can hurt him physically. Drew and Adam immediately call him on looking for a doctor’s note to beat off. Adam asks about wet dreams, telling Elder it’s like God giving him a handjob, then tells him to just beat off again because it bothers Adam that he doesn’t. The Jerky Boys say that if any religious people think masturbation is wrong, they should go to the zoo and look at the chimps. Adam says the same thing goes for throwing feces.
Jesse (15) is worried about a friend whose fiance beats her. She’s 30, and a friend of his mom’s. He claims that he has Native American powers that allow him to travel to her house and see this happen. Adams wants to know what his range is, and the Jerky Boys suggest that he become a fast food delivery person because he could make great tips. Adam and Drew question further, and tell him that all he can do it tell his mother. Adam then asks Jesse to visit them in the studio, then mocks him for being ridiculously vague. Adam continues on, suggesting a career in law enforcement, and Anderson busts out the Unsolved Mysteries theme. Drew sadly laments that Jesse needs serious help.
Heather was on hold for an hour and apparently is gone.
Ariel (20) joins in the mocking of Jesse. She’s calling about her boyfriend, who can’t force himself to get an erection, but gets them randomly throughout the day otherwise. The conversation eventually turns to Ron Jeremy and his various parlor tricks involving his penis until the break.
Tina (20) has a problem with her boyfriend’s habit of choking her as he orgasms.
Heather (23) is trying to concieve, and wants Drew’s advice for when her birth control will wear off enough that her chances of conception shoot back up to normal. She also wants to know when in her cycle is best. Adam is unsure about a home-renter having a kid, but she reveals she’s a preschool teacher and both Adam and Drew give her a pass.
The conversation turns to doctor’s offices and erections while waiting in your underwear, and they play “Hair Vitamins” off the new Jerky Boys album before the break.
Kyle (17) is sleeping with 3 different girls, and just found out that one used to have the clap but had it treated before they started sleeping together.
A different Kyle (18) has a stance on abortion that sounds like he came up with it while he was high, and Adam asks how much he smokes (answer: a lot). Adam has to explain the other side’s stance to Kyle since he doesn’t seem to understand it. Kyle’s never had a serious relationship, and wants to know if not having relationships as a teenager will make his relationships as an adult disfunctional.
Adam wants to take a caller who’s been on hold a long time, but Drew wants to go to break. Adam tells caller Sophia (on hold for 74 minutes) that Drew will talk to her during the break.
Coming back from break, they play one more cut from the Jerky Boys’ album. They plug their album and the ICP movie they’re in once more before the show ends.
I couldn’t agree more. The show gets a good rating, but the Jerky Boys are as unfunny as unfunny comes. They might have made big ground in the prank calling realm- but even the ones they play on the show are terrible, they barely make sense.
Totally random and slightly homoerotic Oscar De La Hoya commercial around 1:13
it’s like having two cars!
My goodness pyschic Jesse who calls around 1:03:00 is absolutely awesome. I was cracking up hearing everyone bag on his broad “visions.” The boys are prank callers who aren’t the best and they question every drop.
Wow, been listening to loveline since 98 and never knew this one existed.