Monday, August 21st, 2000 - #1277
Guest: no guest
Host: Adam, Dr. Drew
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Recording Info:
Added: 8/2/2017
Recorded By: ?
Transferred By: ?
Size: 10.48 MB
Length: 1:31:35
Bitrate: 16kb/s CBR
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This was a pretty good episode. I think they got to maybe 4 or 5 calls. The rest was Adam ranting about… well… whatever random thoughts came to him.
97 LB Tumor Lady calls in
Great rant at 1:08:30
A kid calls in around 6 minutes in and describes in great detail the makeshift vagina he constructs to masturbate with. It involves a bed, two pillows, a cream, a saturated washcloth, and sometimes, saran wrap.
Adam: “Listen. Let me explain something. I don’t masturbate to simulate the feeling of a woman. I masturbate to masturbate.”
Drew: “Yeah but these guys are 15 so they’re trying.”
Adam: “I know but it’s always funny when these guys are like ‘well you get a mason jar and you fill it with a chub pack of ground beef–now I like 22% fat but if you want to go 15% or even a leaner cut of beef, that’s fine, I’m not here to question that–and I’ll throw a raw egg in there and I’ll mix that thing up, then I put it in the microwave and get it just up to body temperature, and if you got 6-8 ounces of ground beef in there, usually 25-30 seconds. Don’t go too long in the microwave or you’ll be humping a hamburger. And then what I like to do when I get it out of the microwave is put a little rust-colored shag carpet around the opening, then I’ll go ahead and turn on the TV and I’ll put it on the View because there’s a lot of women talking on that show, then what I go ahead and do is mount up the mason jar with the girls talking in the background and the warm–not cooked–warm hamburger beef and have myself. Then I feed it to the dog when I’m done. Then I’ll go down to the hardware store and get 40-50 feet of fallopian tubing and connect it to the mason jar, and now you’re cooking.'”
Adam talks about modeling some camel-skin jacket at an auction in Vegas where the audience members were a bunch of old codgers who didn’t know who the hell he was. He says he grabbed the mic and said “listen, don’t expect this jacket to look this good on any of you” which was meant to be a joke, but the 700 people in the audience didn’t even make a peep. Just sat there in stunned–and perhaps angry–silence.
Drew then makes a mental note not to go on stage with Adam ever again. He says they had a similar experience at the Teen Choice Awards.
Adam: “What, you mean when I said the entire audience would die of syphilis before their 18th birthday?”
Drew: “Yeah, that time.”
They speak w/ a girl on her way to an astro-physics degree at Yale
Great rant about Adams friend being arrested for a pit plant. Dr Drew predicts that in 20 years the pot laws will be relaxed. Amazingly true today, 14 years later.
Adam talking about retarded teenagers and their creative masturbation schemes was hilarious.
I was loling at Adams mixed race talk. “You want a little Jew mixed with some Asian.” Very funny show
The blah blah blah thing at the 1:06ish mark is hilarious.