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Summary:
Caller Name:
Thursday, May 15, 1997
GUEST: Clive Barker • HOST: Adam, Dr. Drew
Guest Info Clive Barker is an English author, film director and visual artist best known for his work in both fantasy and horror fiction. Barker came to prominence in the mid-1980s with a series of short stories which established him as a leading young horror writer.
Show Summary Adam starts the show by asking Clive about "Quicksilver highway" a fox tv movie made up two of his short stories and directed by Mick Garris of "IT" and "The Stand" fame, Clive discusses his remote... Show More
Show Summary Adam starts the show by asking Clive about "Quicksilver highway" a fox tv movie made up two of his short stories and directed by Mick Garris of "IT" and "The Stand" fame, Clive discusses his remote involvement in that project and then briefly recaps his career and what he is up to at the moment.

Clive discusses his transition to making literature and entertainment aimed at child audiences, in particular "The Thief of Always" and it's impending film adaptation (Clive may be the guest with the most film projects mentioned in his LL guest spots that were never made).
Drew and Adam then quiz Clive his interest in fiction for children and Clive then rattles of some of his favorite authors, Adam then inquires into the history of Hellraiser and weather or not it originates from a book or short story.

Adam asks Clive about the possibility of returning to the Hellraiser franchise, Clive then declares it's very much part of his past but does still enjoy that film and the first Candyman.

Adam then inquires as to the budget of the 1st Hellraiser and Clive tells him it was a mere 900k which he finds stunning due to the quality of the effects and Clive tells him they were good for the time but CG has changed things, Clive then explains what CGI is to Dr.Drew.

Adam then asks about how much money the Hellraiser films have generated and Clive then says he truly doesn't know but would love to see the math on it, he was only paid 21k to write and direct it.

Adam explains Drinking games in particular "Quarters" to Clive and Dr.Drew and then explains the concept and goal of these games.

Adam declares they will mic up Dr.Drew's corpse because he will be doing LL up until 3 months after he's dead after Drew attempts to explain why is is scatter brained from being up since 3am.

Some nice usage of Ricockulous by both Drew and Clive, A Clive superfan has some in depth fan questions for him starting with some questions about the novel "Sacrament" and Clive discusses his change in writing style.

Clive then discusses how each book is 15 months of his life and he can't repeat himself because it doesn't feel like an evolution of his art.
(I think this may be the show that Adam then references in the next Clive Barker ep where he asks if he is back to horror because last time he was on he was writing a book about a "Gay Gnome" and Clive gets horribly offended)

Clive then goes off on why books are unique, because you are a co-creator with the author as you read it and then references books as the ultimate theater of the mind.

Clive then asks Drew if he can put his thumbs into Adam's eyes and Adam then demands that they gamble on some callers later in the show because Drew has been on a hot streak with the gambling and Adam thinks Clive will be formidable and may defeat Drew.

Clive mentions a fax he received there at westwood 1(2,none) during the break from a fan who wants to know where he gets his ideas from.

Clive relates elements from his childhood and how he would speak to "invisibles" and that has now extended into his writing as an adult, he mentions not having a Television and then Drew prompts him for his favorite Clive Barker story.

Clive is then Queued to tell the famous story of what his grandmother said would happen to him if he was to use a public restroom.
Clive then tells that hilarious and creepy story which is the origin of the Candyman as well.

You can hear Drew make and audible choking/gasp sound as Clive says he was told these "things" as a 5 yr old.

Clive inquires as to weather a relationship between a 15yr old and an adult is ever appropriate referencing roman times as an example, Adam asks him if he has his eye a on young guy or something.

Adam makes what may his first pitch to Clive in regards to wanting to be his gay bitch or "houseboy", Clive is kinda stunned by this and wonders what brought out this change in Adam.

Adam pleads for Clive to be his sugar daddy and then promises Clive tons of dudes.

Adam "...the lover of young boys....I just thought I'd slip that in there"
Clive "...no,no,no,no.."

Adam "...heterosexuality is like a job that I like right now but if some other company came courting and the money was right I would jump ship...but I'd get ya dude's".

Adam "...Clive could provide me with the lifestyle I so richly deserve.."

Adam "...why I'm the best bitch..."

They discuss Clive's parents and childhood.

Clive inquires as to how and why Drew and Adam will "get a vibe" from a caller and Adam and Drew explain attempt to explain it.

Adam discusses an odd event from the other day, Adam and Drew were on a puddle jumper from Atlanta to Panama City Florida and it was a full flight and as they were taxing for a very long time Adam noticed only one of the props fired up and Adam was sitting next to the one prop that wasn't firing up, Adam then recounts sitting there thinking when is this thing going to turn on.

Adam then discusses how he kept thinking to himself that the pilot doesn't know the 2nd engine hadn't turned on and they the pilot was going to take off anyway causing their imminent deaths but he was too worried of what everyone near him would think if he freaked out or made a scene.

Adam discusses how he thought 100 times that he should get up and
tell some body but instead, Adam "...I'm going to save some face I'll lose my life..".

Clive is very intrigued by this story and wants to know what happened and Adam then explains that everything went ok.

Clive then tells the converse story of Adam's involving his first flight on the concord from JFK to LHR a 3 1/2hr trip.

Clive discusses how it was a very small plane and how he was sitting next to an enormous man who was flowing into his seat, Clive discusses this large man sweating all over him (oddly he didn't enjoy it) and then how the man jumped and screamed for them to stop the flight and the stewardess tried to get him to calm down but he insisted and then Clive discusses how interesting it was that the guy held his ground.
_________________
So Here are the facts on the recording, it was spread over 2 tapes and in 3 segments, the first was on a some rough tape or a tape that had been rercorded on several times, in fact I found a bonus of about 6 mins of an episode with Wilson Cruz on as a guest(My So Called Life) that I will post too, so the first segment is definitely listenable but slightly rough and the middle chunk was on some pristine tape and sounds great (about 40min) and then seg3 is of the same quality as seg 1, all in all it sounds better than many other archived eps and almost as good as the rest of my transfers.



Full transcript of this show:

An Interview with Clive Barker May 15, 1997:

Adam Carolla: ...At the beginning. Alright, ha, ha. Engineer Mike is uh, I’ve uh, I’ve drawn, driven him completely insane. He, you know he threw out all the chairs last night, he made a big pile.

Doctor Drew: A bonfire.

Adam Carolla: ...and uh took them out to the dumpster and ditched them.

Doctor Drew: You know, I caught him in the parking lot. As I drove in he was getting ready to take off.

Adam Carolla: Really?

Doctor Drew: Yeah he goes “Adam, I just can’t take it.”

Adam Carolla: Oh please. Please, please

Doctor Drew: That’s what he said.

Adam Carolla: He loves me.

Doctor Drew: (to engineer Mike) Did you not say that?

Adam Carolla: Yeah, he’s really going nuts. I don’t know what’s up with him. Alright PMS-ing.

(Doctor Drew drop): “I’m in pain, my breasts hurt.”

Adam Carolla: Okay, hold on Drew. Please, enough out of you. Uh, Clive Barker is here this evening, hello Clive.

Clive Barker: Good evening young Adam.

Adam Carolla: Alright be quiet for just one moment now.

Clive Barker: Okay

Adam Carolla: Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Now, for those of you who uh, don’t know Clive and I’m uh, sure you all do, Hellraiser, Candyman, Lord of Illusions, uh, what am I forgetting?

Clive Barker: A bunch of books.

Adam Carolla: A bunch of books!

Clive Barker: Bunch of books.

Adam Carolla: And the author of all of them.

Clive Barker: y-y-yeah, yeah. My mother did a couple but I don’t, no I’m kidding. Yeah, I wrote them all.

Adam Carolla: And you just did that thing, Quicksilver Highway? Clive Barker: Yeah that was one of my stories, which was adapted for Fox.

Adam Carolla: Did you and uh, Stephen King...

Clive Barker: Steve did one story I, they were both short stories which a wonderful director called Mick Garris. Took and he did The Shining recently...

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: ... on TV and I’ve known Nick a long time. He did uh, a great job and yeah. But I was you know, very remote from that. I actually had one line from it. I actually got to appear in it, which was kind of...

Adam Carolla: Oh, you acted?

Clive Barker: Well I wouldn’t go as far as that. I said a line.

Doctor Drew: You appeared. Clive Barker: I appeared, exactly.

Adam Carolla: And that was on Fox this week right?

Clive Barker: Right, right, right. A couple nights ago.

Adam Carolla: And what are you working on now?

Clive Barker: Well actually...

Adam Carolla: Cause I know you’re here just to have a good time.

Clive Barker: Ohhh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adam Carolla: Which we appreciate.

Clive Barker: Well actually that’s, that’s, that’s right. Uh, we’re doing a whole bunch of stuff with Fox actually. My company Seraphim, we’re working on a bunch of movies the week for Fox.

Adam Carolla: Mhmm. Clive Barker: And a series or two and something for kids. Fox
Kid’s network. Just a whole slew of TV series.

Adam Carolla: So obviously if your doing stuff that’s geared toward kids...

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: It’s not all the standard Clive Barker blood and
guts stuff.

Clive Barker: No, I’ve actually written allot for kids now and actually one of, one of my kids books, Thief of Always In preparation to be a feature over at Universal so kids stuff is very important to me.

Doctor Drew: What age group are you going for there? Clive Barker: Uhh, Thief, the book?

Doctor Drew: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Prenatal? Am I right?

Clive Barker: Actually no because they can’t read you know.

Adam Carolla: Oh right. Clive Barker: It’s too dark in the womb.

Adam Carolla: Listen I’m 32, I can’t read.

Clive Barker: Let’s not go there... uh, um... uh, 7 and 8 upwards. Umm, and uh, the book is taught in schools to, I guess the youngest would be 7 year olds.

Doctor Drew: Hmmm.

Adam Carolla: So your book is taught in schools?

Clive Barker: Mhmm

Adam Carolla: Is that what your saying?

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: That’s kind of cool.

Clive Barker: Yeah, it’s great. It’s really wonderful. And if, you know I’m a great reader of kid’s fiction still, and you know, go back to the classics constantly and just have a good time.

Doctor Drew: Wait, wait, wait what other classics of literature.

Clive Barker: Well I would say...

Adam Carolla: Hop on Pop?

Clive Barker: As a...

Adam Carolla: Sorry...

Clive Barker: I’m just going to move on...

Adam Carolla: Alright go, just go.

Clive Barker: Umm... Uh, Actually the English stuff I suppose you know Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan. Umm, Treasure Island I still look up to.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm

Clive Barker: Love that book. And uh, so it tends to be turn of the
century stuff.

Doctor Drew: Right.

Clive Barker: And, but more recently there’s a wonderful, actually Los Angeles author called Francesca Lia Block who wrote The Weetzie Bat books. Do you know of those books?

Doctor Drew: No

Clive Barker: They’re really wonderful. They’re for an older audience than the 7 and 8 year olds. They’re sort of, I guess early teens?

Doctor Drew: Ah-ha.

Clive Barker: But she writes this wonderfully um, knowing stylish prose about the problems of teens which in Los Angeles and the sexual stuff is, is very much a part of what she writes which obviously isn’t true of Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan unless you take a pysychoanal... psychoanalytic view of it.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: Uhh, but uh Francesca does wonderful stuff so there’s allot of contemporary writers I really enjoy for children as well.

Adam Carolla: Let me back track for just one moment here. And I should probably know the answer to this but take something like Hellraiser.

Clive Barker: Sure.

Adam Carolla: Was that part of a book or in a book...

Clive Barker: It wasn’t at all.

Adam Carolla: Or was a book?

Clive Barker: It was a novella. It is a novella actually called the Hellbound Heart which...

Adam Carolla: That’s a novel where people sing?

Clive Barker: It’s a novella where people try to sing.

Adam Carolla: Ahh, okay.

Clive Barker: Where did that come from?

Doctor Drew: Operetta Opera.

Clive Barker: Oh, oh

Doctor Drew: Novel, novella

Clive Barker: Okay.

Doctor Drew: You’ve got to follow his logic. It’s very skewed. It’s very bizarre.

Clive Barker: Can we really describe his logic? Is logic actually a theft?

Doctor Drew: No, no of course not it’s just the quality of thought that he’s exposed to here.

Clive Barker: Okay.

Adam Carolla: Let me remind you two A-holes I am in the room with you while you’re talking about me. You seem to have lost site of that.

Clive Barker: Yes it’s a novel where people sing.

Adam Carolla: And uh...

Clive Barker: -Laughs-

Adam Carolla: Are you “S”-ing me?

Clive Barker: No, I’m agreeing with you.

Adam Carolla: Okay.

Clive Barker: You’re in charge, I’m agreeing.

Adam Carolla: But more people obviously became familiar with it after it came on to the big screen.

Clive Barker: Oh, absolutely, no question. I mean probably more people have seen that uh, movie from the video that will ever read the book.

Adam Carolla: And is there... Do you have any, have you sort of been there, done that with that sort of thing or do you have plans to go back and revisit that chapter in your life.

Clive Barker: That chapter, you know it’s 10 years since that first movie came out. Now I think it’s very much a part of my past. But having said that the, you know the monsters follow me around. I mean you know, the, I’m always, I think going to be identified with the Hellraiser movies and the Candyman movies.

Adam Carolla: Pinhead and all that.

Clive Barker: Ahh, I have no problem with that. I mean they were good movies for their time. They still scare people on video. I’m, I’m proud of them.

Adam Carolla: What was the budget on the first Hellraiser?

Clive Barker: $900,000.

Adam Carolla: Really?!

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Because the effects were pretty good.

Clive Barker: Well they were for their time. I mean this is way before CGI and that stuff.

Doctor Drew: What’s CGI? Just the computer stuff?

Clive Barker: The computer generated imagery I think is the...

Doctor Drew: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: But I mean Pinhead, the makeup work and all that.

Clive Barker: It was really, it was great.

Adam Carolla: And all that. And when the guy was hanging from the chains with all the hooks in him.

Clive Barker: Well, it was all you know, a good value for money but it was a cheap, cheap movie.

Adam Carolla: And, so somebody made a ton of money on that.

Clive Barker: I wish it would be me but...

Adam Carolla: It wasn’t.

Clive Barker: No, but actually I don’t mind that. I mean I signed I suppose the
“sucker’s deal.”

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: Because I signed away the rights you know, in
perpetuity on those pictures and on those images.

Adam Carolla: Oh.

Clive Barker: Because you know, who knew? Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: And somebody was giving me $900,000 to make this picture and I was very um, I was very happy and I would have done it for free.

Adam Carolla: Well you know, I, I just had this though which is uh, it’s real easy in hindsight to say aww, you should have written, you know held you ground and maintained control and blah, blah, blah.

Doctor Drew: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: But how often does something really break out. I mean most of the time you’re just ripping off the studio, take the money, the thing doesn’t make a penny and you’re laughing all the way to the bank.

Clive Barker: And you can’t predict it. I mean that’s the point. And at the end of the day, if the work gives you pleasure to do, I think that’s where you have got to say well that’s the... I mean this sounds kind of crass but you can’t be thinking constantly about well you know, where’s the money, where’s the money because if you do, you spend your time looking at the bottom line instead of well I enjoy getting up in the morning and going to do the work.

Adam Carolla: Right. But just for kicks, how much has Hellraiser made collectively? Video...

Clive Barker: I wish... You know that’s something... Adam Carolla: International sales.

Clive Barker: Man, I wish I, somebody should compute that. I haven’t got a clue. I know I was paid $21,000 to write and direct it.

Adam Carolla: Right. Oh, picture cable rights, international, video, ohh.

Doctor Drew: You know it’s more that a hundred times that.

Adam Carolla: Well it’s hundreds of millions.

Doctor Drew: At the point.

Adam Carolla: At this point.

Clive Barker: It’s a huge amount of money.

Doctor Drew: Maybe a thousand times more.

Clive Barker: Yeah, they’ve made 3 sequels and they’re making a fourth sequel and you know, there’s been all kinds of...

Doctor Drew: Ten thousands times more.

Adam Carolla: The beauty of Loveline is that Drew and I are reaming everybody. It’s like this show can’t make a penny can it Drew?

Doctor Drew: They tell us it can’t.

Adam Carolla: The more markets we get in (this is according to the management) The more markets we get into, the less money the show is making somehow. I have not yet been able to work out that math but it keeps making less and less money.

Clive Barker: My suspicion is that studios are making the same calculations every day.

Adam Carolla: Right, coming to America lost money. Alright Drew, to the phones we go. Sara, 19.

Caller Sara: Hi guys.

Adam Carolla: Hey.

Clive Barker: Hey.

Caller Sara: Alright, I have a couple questions but first a situation is that last weekend I went drinking with a couple people from work and we started playing drinking games and I’m not a very big girl so it doesn’t take a whole lot for me to get drunk.

Adam Carolla: And let me explain drinking games.

Clive Barker: Help me with this. What is a drinking game?

Adam Carolla: There’s a few of them. They don’t have them in England.

Clive Barker: No.

Adam Carolla: In England people are loaded by noon. They don’t need drinking games over there. There’s no fun in getting someone loaded who’s already about to vomit because he’s had 14 pints during his lunch break.

Clive Barker: What is a drinking game?

Adam Carolla: But here, where we don’t drink till after work...

Clive Barker: Okay.

Adam Carolla: They have these games where basically they have like quarters, where you take a quarter and you take and empty glass and you bounce the quarter off the counter top and if it lands in the glass, you can get whoever around the table... Drew, I have to explain this to you too, I know.

Doctor Drew: What was that other game? What’s that one where you can’t point at people?

Adam Carolla: Ahh, you can’t say certain words and of course the more loaded you get, the more you screw up, the more you drink and it becomes a vicious vomiting cycle.

Clive Barker: Got it.

Adam Carolla: And what guys will do is they’ll get into these
games with a couple of women and they’ll just get them toasted.

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: And people get so involved with the game that they’ll have to continue the game that even if they’re at the point of alcohol poisoning, they will still have that 15th shot. And I’m guessing something like that happened to Sara.

Caller Sara: Yeah, pretty much.

Adam Carolla: Yeah. So what happened?

Caller Sara: Well, like I said I was pretty much gone.

Adam Carolla: Was it the guys getting you to drink?

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Mhmm.

Caller Sara: And one of the guy’s fathers had an opportunity to take advantage of me.

Adam Carolla: Yes.

Caller Sara: And, now I work with him and I work with a couple of his friends too, and they’ve been harassing me at work so I just quit.

Doctor Drew: What do you mean harassing you?

Caller Sara: Um, you know, coming up to me and asking me if I’ll go out with them and you know, just stuff like that. Making rude comments.

Adam Carolla: How did the guy take advantage of you?

Caller Sara: We had sex.

Adam Carolla: And were you coherent?

Caller Sara: No. Well, I don’t remember it, I only remember parts.

Adam Carolla: Were they the good parts? Because that makes a difference. Were you passed out or just so oblivious?

Caller Sara: I was so oblivious. I remember crying.

Adam Carolla: Do you remember telling him no and trying to stop him and that kind of stuff?

Caller Sara: No.

Adam Carolla: Okay, alright. But it’s not something you want to
do or normally would have done.

Caller Sara: No, and they all know this.

Adam Carolla: Right. They know, that’s why they took you out to get drunk.

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Because they know under sober circumstances they wouldn’t have a chance. Did you like your job?

Caller Sara: Yeah, I did.

Doctor Drew: Are you going to file a grievance?

Caller Sara: No, I told the managers what happened just so they know because I have like a couple days left, working there.

Doctor Drew: Right

Caller Sara: And I told them the situation so that if anything happened, if any of the guys kept coming up to me that if I got angry not to hold it against me.

Doctor Drew: Why don’t you actually file a grievance. I mean this is not appropriate at all.

Adam Carolla: Yeah, but against the harassment?

Doctor Drew: Yeah against harassment.

Adam Carolla: Or against the actual event.

Doctor Drew: The rape unless, did you have a forensic examination after this? Did you go to the emergency room or anything like that?

Caller Sara: No.

Adam Carolla: Well she knew she had sex with him.

Doctor Drew: Yeah, the point is she would have trouble proving that it was a rape.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Doctor Drew: But there’s no doubt that she’s being intruded upon in a workplace in ways that she is asking it not to happen.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: Well there’s two things here, right? One is what happened last Friday night.

Doctor Drew: Yes.

Clive Barker: And the other is what’s happened subsequently, right?

Doctor Drew: Correct. They’re separate issues.

Clive Barker: They’re separate issues.

Doctor Drew: And the one last Friday, it sounds like you know, she doesn’t want to deal with that and hadn’t dealt with it and it’d be tough to deal with it in retrospect.

Clive Barker: Right.

Doctor Drew: Although certainly she could.

Adam Carolla: But Sara, you sure you want to quit? I mean you say you like the job. Certainly you could discipline these guys or have these guys disciplined if they kept up.

Caller Sara: Yeah, I’ve talked to the manager.

Doctor Drew: What kind of job is it?

Caller Sara: I work in a restaurant business.

Doctor Drew: Are you a waitress?

Caller Sara: A hostess.

Adam Carolla: Oh, you can get a hostess job anywhere though Sara.

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: That’s no big deal. Alright, you can quit.

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: You have my permission to quit.

Caller Sara: Okay, thank you.

Adam Carolla: Steal as many of those mints as you can carry away from the counter when you leave.

Clive Barker: And the toothpicks.

Adam Carolla: Toothpicks, mints, and I would go for that whole March of Dimes coin bucket too that they put right there by the register.

Clive Barker: No, no. No, no.

Doctor Drew: And Sara, it’s actually a pretty conflict situation you’re seeing with lots of different issues here and I don’t know if we can get into all of them. One is what’s going on with you and alcohol. Two is why did these guys see you as a victim. Three, what are you going to do about this rape, and eve if you had said yes, I don’t know if you’re in California but in California you can’t have sec with somebody that’s not able to render consent due to intoxication, it’s rape. And then four, what are you going to do with the workplace situation, which is harassing and abusive. And these are complex, very difficult issues. I would suggest you get some kind of help with this, I whether it’s legal council, psychological council, something to help you sort it out.

Adam Carolla: Psychological alright.

Doctor Drew: She’s 19 and doing this on her own, very difficult, And this is not a situation, and you were a victim straight down the line.

Adam Carolla: Alright, but I hate to say this but this happens every day.

Doctor Drew: Well, guess what, it doesn’t make it right.

Adam Carolla: Okay... Thanks Drew. Boy, don’t look at me, please. I haven’t done this in a long time.

Doctor Drew: Well you’re saying as though you condone it.

Adam Carolla: No, I’m just saying...

Doctor Drew: I’m about to get on my soap ops about the empowerment women again.

Adam Carolla: Please, stay away from the soap ops and your empowerment of women. If you could. What’d you do, take a quaalude before you came in.

Clive Barker: -Laughs-

Adam Carolla: -Laughs-


Drew Drop: “I’m in pain, my breasts hurt.”

Doctor Drew: Do you want start talking about my workday?

Adam Carolla: No, I don’t want to talk about your workday. Listen,

Doctor Drew: 3A. 3A.

Adam Carolla: 3A what?

Clive Barker: What is 3A.

Adam Carolla: You put your finger in three...

Doctor Drew: I started my work, I did B and then I started... It was a horrible day.

Adam Carolla: Oh, alright listen, if had to be somewhere at 3 A.M. I would just stay up.

Clive Barker: So if you drop syllables we should just forgive you?

Doctor Drew: I don’t even know where I am today. Really I’ve just been working all day. It’s ridiculous.

Adam Carolla: It’s what??

Doctor Drew: Recockulous.

Adam Carolla: Thank you.

Doctor Drew: My first patient was at 5 in the morning.

Clive Barker: So the whole thing’s recockulous and you’re giving advice.

Adam Carolla: Oh, Drew could do this. Drew will continue to do the show three months after he dies.

Clive Barker: There you go.

Adam Carolla: I swear to God, engineer Mike.

Clive Barker: Will the advice get better?

Adam Carolla: It won’t get worse, I can tell you that. We will, I want to mic up Drew’s corpse when they put him in the ground and we’ll do a remote. We’ll put like a lavaliere on you.

Clive Barker: You’ll be kind of smothered but...

Adam Carolla: Edward, 30.

Caller Edward: Hi.

Adam Carolla: Hey.

Caller Edward: Um, I’ve got a girlfriend that...

Doctor Drew: Turn your radio down or Adam will hang up on you!

Caller Edward: Okay.

Adam Carolla: Alright, well.

Doctor Drew: Too late.

Adam Carolla: He has to learn. I didn’t hang up, he’ll just wait the mandatory hour and 45 minutes. Alright umm, John, 17.

Caller John: Hey, how’s it going Adam, Drew. I need you guys to know something.

Adam Carolla: Mmm.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm.

Caller John: You’re talking to a real renaissance man there.

Adam Carolla: Clive?

Caller John: Clive Barker.

Adam Carolla: Oh, absolutely.

Clive Barker: Thank you, thank you.

Caller John: The guy is absolutely amazing.

Clive Barker: Thank you.

Caller John: He writes plays, geeze, he’s incredible.

Doctor Drew: He’s here

Caller John: So I wanted to ask him a couple of questions. Would that be alright?

Adam Carolla: Hold on, let me ask him. Clive?

Caller John: I noticed there’s a real departure from allot of your other stuff.

Clive Barker: Right.

Caller John: Your other stuff didn’t you know, involve allot of you know, self-discovery journeys and that kind of thing.

Clive Barker: Sure

Caller John: But a lot of it was behind you know, allot of mistresses and then stuff.

Clive Barker: Right.

Caller John: And this one wasn’t so much. It was allot of psyche stuff, I noticed that.

Clive Barker: And really very much dealing with kind of real world issues. I mean...

Caller John: Yeah.

Clive Barker: The hero of that book is a wildlife photographer, and he really
photographs almost exclusively creatures that are on the verge of extinction, which is you know, something that...

Doctor Drew: Adam confided in me that his appearances on Loveline changed his writing style completely.

Adam Carolla: -Laughs-

Clive Barker: Yeah, yeah, you know...

Doctor Drew: It’s being more reality based.

Adam Carolla: Really?

Clive Barker: Listening to Dr. Drew here, I now just you know, ridiculous and all kinds of stuff.

Adam Carolla: Recockulous!

Clive Barker: Recockulous. Um no, to just go back to the issue of change in style you know, I’ve been writing now 14, publishing now 14 years. I’m 44, I want to continue to develop what I’m doing. I want to continue to find fresh avenues for my work. You know, one of the worse things I think you can do to yourself as an artist and certainly to your audience is repeat yourself. I know there is a big marketplace for just going and just doing the same thing again.

Caller John: Mhmm.

Clive Barker: You know, and that’s true of moviemakers and it’s true of filmmakers. It’s true for writers, it’s true pretty much across the arts that if you find something that works, very often the pressure is to just go and do it again.

Adam Carolla: Right and... Clive Barker: But you know, if I write a book, it’s 15 months of my life, and to go and do what I did last time is just drudgery.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: So, the new book here, Galilee, which I started the final draft of that yesterday, it’s another seven months from delivery you know, is a departure again. The whole idea is to keep reinventing myself.

Adam Carolla: How, I don’t want to say devoted but obviously you have a following who will go out and get Clive Barker’s latest offering.

Clive Barker: Right, right.

Caller John: All I have to do id see Clive Barker on the cover.

Clive Barker: I Love that, thank you.

Caller John: I’d totally buy it right there. I actually found it in Savemart which is...

Clive Barker: Oh really, Sacrament was in Savemart?

Caller John: Yeah.

Clive Barker: -Laughs- Caller John: It was paperback. It was right up there by the aisle and I couldn’t believe it.

Clive Barker: Very cool, we’re preaching to the unconverted out there.

Caller John: I think it’s kind of ironic that you don’t find it in you know, all the other big chain book stores.

Clive Barker: I love it! Savemart.

Adam Carolla: Why don’t you find it in the big chain bookstores?

Clive Barker: Well you should though, very often.

Caller John: You can, I saw it at the grocery store first though.

Clive Barker: Oh yeah, I just think that’s so cool you know, along with Danielle Steel presumably.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: You know one of the things for me as a passionate advocate of the word, I mean we live in a you know, the post literate age, we’re constantly being told. Actually what I am discovering is that, allot of people coming back to books.

Doctor Drew: Oh yes, absolutely.

Clive Barker: The word is being rediscovered and you know, umm...

Adam Carolla: Well with each new piece of technology people naturally assume the old technology will die, immediately.

Clive Barker: Right.

Adam Carolla: I have a friend who’s a high powered guy in the newspaper business and people are always coming at him with “My God, the newspapers are going to be obsolete in another 6 months!” But they’re not and they haven’t been and they‘ve kept up and this is uh, this is a way of getting information that people like. Newspapers, books, magazines, whatever it is. And just because it’s more convenient to get it from a computer or some other source doesn’t mean that’s what people want.

Clive Barker: Something else though, and we were talking before we came on the
air about, Dr. Drew was here saying that the theatre of the mind, you were talking about radio, the theatre of the mind.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm, mhmm.

Clive Barker: As compared with television where you know, people are reading the screen and seeing all these nuances on your face and you said before we came on the air, many of your viewers were disappointed to see you in the flesh because they had an image of you from radio uh, which was their own creation. Now I think there’s a parallel in books. Books are a very intimate experience in part because you are a co-creator with the author.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm.

Clive Barker: You’re not passively receiving stimuli, visual stimuli, THX, whatever else it is in the cinematic experience. You can just sit there and you know, it can wash over you. It can be incredibly loud and you can you know, feel the seat shaking beneath you and yet you can walk out of the cinema and sort of shrug it off.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: If you involve yourself in a book and connect with the author’s mind, there is a sense in which I said before, you’re sort of co-creating the book. You said the theatre of the mind for radio; well I think books are the ultimate theatre of the mind. Something is you’re casting this thing in your head, you’re creating it, the images in you’re head, and I think that that experience and the energy of that experience and the power of that experience will never ever be superseded. It doesn’t matter how slick the movie becomes, however you know, amazing the interactive you know, virtual reality experience becomes the ultimate virtual reality is taking words off a page and finding it coming to life in your minds eye.

Adam Carolla: But what about Pinhead?

Clive Barker: Oh god, can I cut out his eyes with my fingers?

Adam Carolla: Alright...

Doctor Drew: I thought he was going to bring up porno so as long as he doesn’t do that.

Adam Carolla: I wanted to bring up porno but Drew just stepped on my line. Alright listen, we have to go to break. We’ll be back with Clive and I hope we get to some gambling tonight because I think Clive will a formidable opponent for Dr. Drew who’s just been kicking my ass at the gambling table lately.

Doctor Drew: I bought my kids ice cream tonight with your five bucks too.

Adam Carolla: Alright, I hope they get salmonella.

Bumper: Here’s Loveline before de-worming –barking-, here’s Loveline after getting fixed –yelping-. Here’s Loveline chewing out it’s stitches –growl-. Here’s Loveline dragging its butt across the carpet. Bad Loveline! Bad Loveline! (Different Voice): Loveline has been bad and will be right back.

Station ID: 98.5 KLME.

Station bumper: 1-800-LOVE-191, that’s 1-800- L-O-V-E-191 to get on Loveline on 98.5 KOME.

(Bumper Music)

Adam Carolla: Alllllright it is Loveline. Phone number 1-800-L- O-V-E-191, fax number 310-854-4455. We are here with the creator of Hellraiser, Candyman, Lord of Illusions and many other endeavors, literary and cinematic. A renaissance man as he was called.
Clive Barker: I’ve got a fax here from Kristen Anderson in Portland, Oregon, a lovely message and I wanted to thank her for that. She asked me where I get my ideas from and that’s like, that’s the $64,000 question. I was having a conversation with my mom and dad recently about you know, was I a weird kid? And my mom said, “Of course you were a weird kid dear. You know, like why would you ever imagine otherwise?” Which I sort have found comforting in a way. They then sent me a picture from when I was six I guess of my class all lined up or sitting you know, the photograph, this would be 1959-1960 and I had this right there worried looking kid with his hair slicked back with a little bow tie looking rather fiercely at the (camera). And I think yeah, I probably was a damn weird kid.
Adam Carolla: Were you socially, were you an outcast or did you have lots of friends.
Clive Barker: No, I didn’t have allot of friends. I had allot of imaginary friends. I mean my mother tells the tail of just being able to sort of park me in a corner and allow me to talk to the invisible friends.
Adam Carolla: Right.
Clive Barker: And I was having a conversation with my dear friends Anna who is one of my partners in the film company she was talking about being able to talk to animals when she was a kid and needing to talk to, needing something that was perhaps other than human to share her problems with and animals were always the thing that Anna you know conversed with, and I conversed with these invisibles. And I think sometimes that what I write is a continuation of that conversation. That when I’m writing, these things that I’m writing about are absolutely as real as you guys are right now.
Adam Carolla: And you grew up in England right? Clive Barker: Yeah, in Liverpool. Adam Carolla: Alright see, that’s the problem. Clive Barker: It’s the water.
Adam Carolla: 1960 England, there’s three channels and two of them are the gardening channel.
Clive Barker: You’re right. Adam Carolla: Imagine how many imaginary friends you would
cook up.
Clive Barker: Well in 1960 we did not have a television.
Adam Carolla: Ughhh! You poor dear. I would sue my parents.
Clive Barker: Yeah, but well you know, all joking aside that was a wonderful thing.
Adam Carolla: Right Doctor Drew: My favorite Clive Barker story is what his
Grandmother told him. Clive Barker: Which part of what my Grandmother told me?
Doctor Drew: About using public restrooms.
Clive Barker: Oh man. Well...
Adam Carolla: And the inspiration for the Candyman?
Clive Barker: And the inspiration for the Candyman, yeah. My, shall I repeat it?
Adam Carolla: Yes.
Clive Barker: My Grandmother was an extraordinary storyteller and uh, part Irish. Very uh, loved telling the dark stories you know, and she told me absolutely that if I went into a public lavatory in England or in Liverpool, there was this guy who went around and cut the “pee-pees” off little boys in public
(Sound Drop played) Clive Barker: Oh, thank you. How dramatic. And it’s you know
that the kind of thing...
Adam Carolla: How old were you when she told you this? Clive Barker: Five probably.
Doctor Drew: Uhhh.
Adam Carolla: And you bought it until you were what, 22, 23 or?
Clive Barker: Still thin it’s true
Doctor Drew: (off mic) And you can get the Candyman to act it out.
Adam Carolla: He still sits down to go number one ladies and gentlemen and that’s at home. Kelly...
Clive Barker: That’s more information than anybody needs. Adam Carolla: Kelly 23. Caller Kelly: Hi Adam, his Drew
Adam Carolla: Hey. Caller Kelly: ...Hi Clive.
Clive Barker: Hey, how you doing? Sorry I was taking a little drink of, yeah.
Caller Kelly: Um this is, I have a comment and a question. Doctor Drew: Mhmm.
Caller Kelly: My comment is I hear you guys every night talking to alcoholics and addicts who are teenagers and allot of them are presumably college students, and I just wanted to share my own experience. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve been sober for four years and one of the things, actually it was probably three things from twelve-stepping that got me through college was living in a substancery house.
Doctor Drew: Mhmm.
Caller Kelly: And I know that most colleges and universities have these and my advice to any college student right now who is struggling because they are drinking too much, get in this program. Do whatever you can to get into a substancrey house. It’s the best gift you can get.
Adam Carolla: Now when you say house, do you mean like dorm? Or is it a...
Caller Kelly: Yeah, it’s a dorm. Sometimes they have like floors you know, it’ll be like floor six of a dorm is devoted to substance, and you know, they have different programming, um usually they have peer councilors, more R.A.’s than you would have on other floors or... Mine was a whole dorm.
Doctor Drew: Kelly, excellent suggestion and I think maybe one of the reasons you don’t hear us making specific suggestions like that is if you listen, the thing we’re dealing with most significantly
is just trying to break down their denial so they at least accept or understand the fact that they have a disease and what the quality of the disease is.
Caller Kelly: Oh sure, I mean I just wanted to share my own experience.
Doctor Drew: Great.
Caller Kelly: Umm, my problem now is I’m 23 and I’m getting ready to go back to school. I’ve been accepted into a post bach pre- med program.
Doctor Drew: Mhmm.
Caller Kelly: And I got a form in the mail the other day, I have to have a physical and one of the questions of course they ask about a whole bunch of diseases and one of them is alcoholism, and I was wondering if this is going to hurt me at all to...
Doctor Drew: For a medical school application? Caller Kelly: Um no, it’s not a med school application. I’ve been
accepted to a post bachelorette pre-med program.
Doctor Drew: Right, I can’t imagine...
Adam Carolla: What the hell is a post-bachelorette?!!
Caller Kelly: Well I was a voice major in college.
Doctor Drew: It means after she graduated she’s going back and getting some pre-med requirements out of the way.
Adam Carolla: What do you do as a voice major, like phone machines and stuff?
Caller Kelly: Nooo. Doctor Drew: Radio. Caller Kelly: Opera.
Adam Carolla: Oh Opera. Oh hold on uh, Drew’s got a woody going. Do a little, could you guys collaborate on something? Give us a little shot opera Kelly.
Doctor Drew: Don’t let him do this to you Kelly. Adam Carolla: Shhhh. Please Drew, I know good radio. Caller Kelly: What’s your favorite opera. Doctor Drew: It’s not worthy of your training. Adam Carolla: What is mine? Uh... Caller Kelly: No no, no, no. Drew, Drew’s. Adam Carolla: Oh, okay. Doctor Drew: What’s my favorite opera? Caller Kelly: Yeah. Adam Carolla: Oh just spit one out, please. Caller Kelly: Do you like Puccini, Verdi? Doctor Drew: I like allot of Verdi. Caller Kelly: Alright, I’ll sing you uhh. Doctor Drew: How about...
Caller Kelly: Pace, Mio Dio Doctor Drew: Fine.
Adam Carolla: Can you give her a little reverb engineer Mike? Alright, you ready Kelly?
Caller Kelly: Oh, sure. Adam Carolla: Are you a big woman?
Caller Kelly: ...No
Adam Carolla: Alright.
Clive Barker: Big Voice?
Adam Carolla: There was a little pause there. Alright, go ahead Kelly.
Caller Kelly: I’m not... Adam Carolla: I add ten pounds for every tenth of a second the
pause after the big woman question. Caller Kelly: I’m 5’5” and I weigh 140. Adam Carolla: Alright Caller Kelly: That’s not too big. Adam Carolla: A little pause. Alright go ahead.
Caller Kelly: Okay umm (singing opera) Pace, pace. pace mio dio pace mio dio. (talking) I can’t sing very loud because my roommate is asleep.
Adam Carolla: That was wonderful and... Caller Kelly: I thought it sucked.
Adam Carolla: Well, you may make a better doctor, we never know.
Clive Barker: I want to ask the same question of you Kelly, what’s your favorite opera?
Caller Kelly: Oh my favorite opera is La forza. That’s what Pace’s from La forza.
Clive Barker: Okay, okay.
Adam Carolla: Alright this is turning into some BBC special hosted by Alistair Cooke for Christ’s sake. Come on, let’s get back to boobs and BJ’s.
Caller Kelly: No, my question, my question. Adam Carolla: Ah yes. Caller Kelly: Should I admit to being an alcoholic? Adam Carolla: Noo! Please no.
Doctor Drew: It’s none of their business but I don’t think it can harm you at the institution where you are now. I don’t know if it makes an issue in terms of your application process for medical schools.
Clive Barker: Well if they’re asking the question...
Doctor Drew: Well I think they’re just trying to create a medical record for them to know what sorts of issues they may have to look for if something should happen to this person.
Clive Barker: Well why do they need to know? Adam Carolla: He just said why you smart-ass. Clive Barker: Yeah, but that’s not a real reason. That’s just...
Doctor Drew: No, no let’s say she just turns up unconscious on campus and they look up her record it’s “Oh she has a history of alcoholism, she might have overdosed on something, let’s look quickly at that possibility.”
Adam Carolla: Yeah, a little tenuous there Drew. I’m with Clive on this one. I don’t believe...
Doctor Drew: It’s none of their business. She doesn’t have to feel compelled to tell them I don’t think.
Clive Barker: Right.
Doctor Drew: I think if she has a relationship with a medical caretaker, a person, she really needs to be honest with that person or they can’t do their job properly but in terms of a record, that’s her business.
Clive Barker: It also seems Kelly has gone through allot of steps to get sober and healthy and all those other things.
Doctor Drew: Oh yeah. Clive Barker: And taking even the smallest risk of being you
know, dealt with in a negative way because of something.
Doctor Drew: Well, yeah. I tell you what though, there is such insanity in how this culture deals with addiction and alcoholism. Such inconsistencies, such lack of understanding about what this thing is. I hate to have people hide or feel ashamed of it. It should be no different than diabetes.
Clive Barker: Right, right but it is. Doctor Drew: I know. I understand that.
Clive Barker: So you know, the healthy attitude is fine but unfortunately dealing very often with institution...
Doctor Drew: Yep, I understand what you’re saying.
Clive Barker: You know, you’re not dealing with sane people very often. You’re dealing with people with terrible prejudices and bureaucracy.
Adam Carolla: Alright. I don’t know, I’m sorry but we have to go to break.
Clive Barker: I’m sorry we’ll sing a little. Adam Carolla: Nah, that’s alright.
Adam Carolla: When we come back, Drew will do something from the Barber of Seville, will you not Drew?
Doctor Drew: I will not.
Bumper: Ernie, the world’s fastest drummer for Loveline: Hi. When I’m not drumming up a storm ha-ha-ha... What was the rest of it? Loveline will be right back.
Station bumper: Get on Loveline on 98.5 KOME. (Bumper Music)
Adam Carolla: Hey, Loveline! I’m Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew and he is Clive Barker.
Doctor Drew: And we shouldn’t be embarrassed by that or pull away from that.
Adam Carolla: Alright, it’s a meeting of the minds over here. A plate on Socrates going at it and I’m like the Hey Vern guy sitting in the middle. It’s humiliating. You know, we have to find a happy balance on this show. We either have the guests that are completely brain dead or we go “Listen, we’re gambling on the past of the person. We want to know what happened in her past that made her into the person she is today.” (Imitating a brain dead guest) “Uhhh, bad hair day?”
Doctor Drew: That happened a couple days ago.
Adam Carolla: We either get that or we get Clive Barker over here who actually was just arguing in Latin with Drew. Alright, so there’s got to be somewhere in the middle, someone I can identify with. But Clive is here.
Clive Barker: What is bad hair day in Latin? Adam Carolla: Don’t put me on the spot. Clive Barker: I’m sorry. Can I answer another fax here?
Adam Carolla: Oh, for... It’s me, me, me. It’s Clive, Clive, Clive. Clive Barker: I know but somebody asked a question and I want
to answer it. Adam Carolla: Okay.
Clive Barker: A gentleman called Keith Bussel here in Santa Monica just faxed and asked whether I was writing any sequels to a book I wrote called The Great and Secret Show. And there’s a whole bunch of answers to that question Keith, but I did a book called Everville which was a direct sequel to that book and then there will be a third book in, what I think will eventually just be a trilogy which I will start writing next year.
Adam Carolla: Well let’s talk about the creative process for just a, one moment because we have allot of people listening. I myself was trapped in this process and then still am to some degree but when I was like 18 or 19 I had a whole bunch of good ideas and I couldn’t think of what to do with them and I could not discipline myself to work on them, go out and... Because stuff does not happen overnight as much as the media would like to portray it that way and as much as it’s convenient for you to think that people came out of nowhere, people hoan their craft. I don’t care if it’s painting, I don’t care if it’s dance, singing, comedy, literature, whatever it is, people hoan their craft. How do you, first off do you have to discipline yourself to sit down and crank out X amount of pages or is it something you love so much that you’re just compelled to do it?
Clive Barker: Oh, I think both can be true. Adam Carolla: Yes.
Clive Barker: I think you can be completely obsessed with business of doing it and still find it very painful.
Adam Carolla: Right.
Clive Barker: And I am you know, I said earlier on that I’ve just started the final draft of my new book. It’s seven months from delivery and so that means for the next seven months, seven days a week I’m at my desk between 8:30 and 9:00. I finish when I’ve done somewhere around two thousand words, and that will continue for seven months and part of me thinks that’s a kind of prison sentence.
Adam Carolla: Right. You got a TV at your desk? Clive Barker: Damn, absolutely not. I’ve got nothing
Adam Carolla: Ohh, that’s more than prison. You know, there’s TV in prison. They’ve got cable in most places.
Clive Barker: I’ve got a boyfriend who says “Geeze do you really have to write? It’s Sunday.” And I say “Yeah, you know what? I do.” And he’s respectful of that and it’s very important for me in my relationships to have somebody who understands that need, and it’s a need in me. It’s an appetite in me.
Adam Carolla: Right, and he’d probably be miserable if he dragged you away from it because then you’d be miserable and you’d make him miserable.
Clive Barker: That’s exactly right, that’s exactly right.
Doctor Drew: I’m sorry, how long did you write everyday?
Adam Carolla: See, I know the gay relationships. We have one.
Clive Barker: Uhhh
Adam Carolla: It’s a handful of gay relationship that we have.
Clive Barker: How long do I write? Doctor Drew: Yeah.
Clive Barker: Probably 8, 9 hours.
Doctor Drew: Every day? Clive Barker: Every day.
Doctor Drew: Ahh, and seven days a week? Clive Barker: Seven days a week.
Doctor Drew: Whoooo. Clive Barker: But you know, I do love it and I am aware that I am
blessed to be able to, I mean...
Doctor Drew: Is it like Mozart where the stuff just comes out of you or do you have to sit there and struggle with it.
Clive Barker: Well I was doing it at six.
Doctor Drew: But you know what I mean.
Clive Barker: Sure, sure.
Doctor Drew: His music just would come out of him.
Clive Barker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No it’s, I don’t get touched something wooden. I don’t get blocked.
Adam Carolla: Well obviously. How many, I don’t know if you’re going to be able to calculate this but go ahead and round up. How many pages do you think you’ve written in the last you know, ten years?
Clive Barker: Ohh, there’s a good one. This is the twentieth book and you know the average book is what? 400, 500 pages.
Adam Carolla: So is that like 9,000 pages? Clive Barker: I don’t know. Allot of pages Adam Carolla: Is that what that is? Dr. Drew: Roughly.
Clive Barker: But I hand write everything so...
Adam Carolla: Oh you do? And then somebody, you pay and Asian woman to...
Clive Barker: No, no. A wonderful guy called Don does you know, types all the stuff up for me.
Adam Carolla: That would be the worst job in the world for me. Clive Barker: Hey, hey, hey. This is Deathless Prose. He’s very,
very happy.
Adam Carolla: Oh, I’m sure he says he is.
Adam Carolla: Edward, 30.
Caller Edward: Hi.
Adam Carolla: Hey.
Clive Barker: Hey guy
Caller Edward: I’ve got the radio off.
Adam Carolla: Great, oh sorry. Ha-ha we haven’t talked to Edward in like an hour. That’s right. Alright big penalties, sorry.
Caller Edward: Okay, I’ve got a girlfriend and she is afraid to go home but, and her parents wont let her have any of her clothes or her contacts and...
Doctor Drew: What do you mean she’s afraid to go home? Caller Edward: Huh? Doctor Drew: What do you mean she’s afraid to go home? Caller Edward: Oh because she knows she’s in trouble. Doctor Drew: With what? For what?
Caller Edward: Well because she came over and got caught, well you know, she was gone for a couple days and her parents found out that she wasn’t at her friends.
Adam Carolla: Now wait a minute, you’re thirty. Caller Edward: Yeah.
Doctor Drew: How old is she? Caller Edward: Fifteen.
Doctor Drew: Oh for... Adam Carolla: Go ahead Drew, say it. Use the Lord’s name in
vain. Uhh, yeah. And now wait where did you guys meet? Caller Edward: Huh?
Adam Carolla: Where do you meet a fifteen year old? Caller Edward: It was in a mall. Adam Carolla: At a mall? Caller Edward: Yeah.
Adam Carolla: Alright, that makes sense. Were you the guy out in front of the Shafer and Sons place playing the organ?
Caller Edward: Guitar. Adam Carolla: You’re pulling my leg. How’d you meet her at the
mall?
Caller Edward: I was just there hanging out and she had some time.
Adam Carolla: And you just picked up on her. Caller Edward: Well, it was kind of mutual. Adam Carolla: And when did you find out she was 15?
Caller Edward: It was, right away. Adam Carolla: Oh really?
Caller Edward: Well, like the next time I talked to her.
Doctor Drew: And you didn’t see anything wrong with that?
Caller Edward: Uh yeah, of course I did.
Doctor Drew: What’s the quality of the relationship now?
Caller Edward: It’s well, very good. We hardly ever fight.
Doctor Drew: Is this like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing? Caller Edward: Yeah.
Clive Barker: How long has it been going on for?
Caller Edward: What, ahh eight months.
Adam Carolla: So it’s a sexual relationship?
Caller Edward: It developed into that, yeah,
Adam Carolla: Oh yes. That was on the second date actually.
Caller Edward: Well she can’t go home and I’m not going to throw her out on the street and you know but...
Adam Carolla: Well she can go home, she’s just gonna...
Caller Edward: She called her...
Doctor Drew: Edward, this is how most people that do what you do think, is that you’re going to save the and fix them and you’re good for them. These are young people who are being abused at home, who seek out other people who can continue to abuse them in some fashion. You’re not helping her.
Caller Edward: Well...
Doctor Drew: A thirty year old and a fifteen year old is not helping a fifteen year old.
Caller Edward: Can, do you have a number that she can like call? Doctor Drew: Sure. Adam Carolla: You do? Is she being abused at home, Edward? Caller Edward: Uhh, I doubt it. I doubt she ever was.
Doctor Drew: She’s never been struck? Caller Edward: No. Well yeah actually, by her step dad.
Doctor Drew: Okay, that would be physical abuse. Now kids that leave home and don’t come back are being abused at home, almost by definition.
Adam Carolla: And let me tell you, when your stepparents are hitting you, there’s something even more going on there. I guarantee it. Because stepparents are either in or they’re out. They’re either nice, warm and loving, or just maniacal molesters. I have stepparents actually.
Doctor Drew: Here’s Child Help USA, which is a 24-hour hotline for runaways. It’s 1-800-422-4453, 1-800-422-4453.
Adam Carolla: Edward, what do you do for a living? Caller Edward: Musician. Adam Carolla: Really? How’s that going? Caller Edward: Ehh, it pays the bills.
Adam Carolla: Really? Caller Edward: Yeah
Adam Carolla: Why, where do, what do you play? Play in a band?
Caller Edward: No, like uh studio gigs.
Adam Carolla: Uh-hu.
Caller Edward: And I sit in other places. I get gigs around Seattle.
Adam Carolla: Yeah, don’t you, aren’t you sort of humiliated going around with a fifteen year old.
Caller Edward: No, she’s very mature acting and looking. Adam Carolla: Right but still, your friends must know. Caller Edward: Uh, no, She lies. Adam Carolla: So she tells people she’s sixteen and a half? Caller Edward: Nineteen.
Adam Carolla: Oh, okay. And the problem is she lost a retainer at your place and can’t go home? Alright listen, Edward...
Caller Edward: Well she calls and talks to... Adam Carolla: Edward! Do not rationalize your vermonism. Doctor Drew: You’re preying on her. Adam Carolla: You are human excrement, believe me. Caller Edward: Well I knew you would chew me out so go for it.
Adam Carolla: Alright, well you know you’ve done wrong. And she
4.24 (41 votes)
Recording Information
Radio Station: 94.7 KNRK
Length: 1:34:45
Size: 87 MB
Rates: 128 kbps / 44.100 kHz / stereo
Recorded By: ?
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Uploaded By: unclepenny on October 23, 2009
Views: 13,473
Downloads: 751
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Comments (10)
Wednesday, 4/12/2017 at 5:23 PM EDT
That's awesome Unclepenny, this was a really great show and I couldn't help but scroll and read along while it was playing, had to re-listen to all the Clive shows afterwards.
Wednesday, 4/12/2017 at 1:01 PM EDT
@
MoreAnimalThanMan Yeah, the deal I made was the guy would send me this tape if I finished a transcription he started years ago. Banged it out in just over 2 days.
Wednesday, 4/12/2017 at 4:04 AM EDT
This is a great early episode, decent recording quality and full length. Really I only made this comment because I am astonished at how long Unclepenny's first comment is, nearly a word-by-word recount of the entire show, wow.
Friday, 10/26/2012 at 2:25 PM EDT
Clive Barker is my favorite guest--he is smart, funny, and connects well with Adam.
Wednesday, 5/9/2012 at 3:14 AM EDT
Thanks.
Wednesday, 5/9/2012 at 1:12 AM EDT
It's No Good, by Depeche Mode
Monday, 5/7/2012 at 6:17 AM EDT
Anyone know which song is the bumper at 0:23:00?
Thursday, 3/1/2012 at 7:10 PM EST
Definitely don't have the coolest comment here but it was an interest show... I liked the part where Adam said drew was a pile of leaves waiting for a Gardner to put him in a bundle... With the deep author guest, who woulda thought Adam had the best metaphor of the night?
Friday, 11/11/2011 at 6:04 PM EST
clive is always awesome.
Adam starts the show by asking Clive about "Quicksilver highway" a fox tv movie made up two of his short stories and directed by Mick Garris of "IT" and "The Stand" fame, Clive discusses his remote involvement in that project and then briefly recaps his career and what he is up to at the moment.

Clive discusses his transition to making literature and entertainment aimed at child audiences, in particular "The Thief of Always" and it's impending film adaptation (Clive may be the guest with the most film projects mentioned in his LL guest spots that were never made).
Drew and Adam then quiz Clive his interest in fiction for children and Clive then rattles of some of his favorite authors, Adam then inquires into the history of Hellraiser and weather or not it originates from a book or short story.

Adam asks Clive about the possibility of returning to the Hellraiser franchise, Clive then declares it's very much part of his past but does still enjoy that film and the first Candyman.

Adam then inquires as to the budget of the 1st Hellraiser and Clive tells him it was a mere 900k which he finds stunning due to the quality of the effects and Clive tells him they were good for the time but CG has changed things, Clive then explains what CGI is to Dr.Drew.

Adam then asks about how much money the Hellraiser films have generated and Clive then says he truly doesn't know but would love to see the math on it, he was only paid 21k to write and direct it.

Adam explains Drinking games in particular "Quarters" to Clive and Dr.Drew and then explains the concept and goal of these games.

Adam declares they will mic up Dr.Drew's corpse because he will be doing LL up until 3 months after he's dead after Drew attempts to explain why is is scatter brained from being up since 3am.

Some nice usage of Ricockulous by both Drew and Clive, A Clive superfan has some in depth fan questions for him starting with some questions about the novel "Sacrament" and Clive discusses his change in writing style.

Clive then discusses how each book is 15 months of his life and he can't repeat himself because it doesn't feel like an evolution of his art.
(I think this may be the show that Adam then references in the next Clive Barker ep where he asks if he is back to horror because last time he was on he was writing a book about a "Gay Gnome" and Clive gets horribly offended)

Clive then goes off on why books are unique, because you are a co-creator with the author as you read it and then references books as the ultimate theater of the mind.

Clive then asks Drew if he can put his thumbs into Adam's eyes and Adam then demands that they gamble on some callers later in the show because Drew has been on a hot streak with the gambling and Adam thinks Clive will be formidable and may defeat Drew.

Clive mentions a fax he received there at westwood 1(2,none) during the break from a fan who wants to know where he gets his ideas from.

Clive relates elements from his childhood and how he would speak to "invisibles" and that has now extended into his writing as an adult, he mentions not having a Television and then Drew prompts him for his favorite Clive Barker story.

Clive is then Queued to tell the famous story of what his grandmother said would happen to him if he was to use a public restroom.
Clive then tells that hilarious and creepy story which is the origin of the Candyman as well.

You can hear Drew make and audible choking/gasp sound as Clive says he was told these "things" as a 5 yr old.

Clive inquires as to weather a relationship between a 15yr old and an adult is ever appropriate referencing roman times as an example, Adam asks him if he has his eye a on young guy or something.

Adam makes what may his first pitch to Clive in regards to wanting to be his gay bitch or "houseboy", Clive is kinda stunned by this and wonders what brought out this change in Adam.

Adam pleads for Clive to be his sugar daddy and then promises Clive tons of dudes.

Adam "...the lover of young boys....I just thought I'd slip that in there"
Clive "...no,no,no,no.."

Adam "...heterosexuality is like a job that I like right now but if some other company came courting and the money was right I would jump ship...but I'd get ya dude's".

Adam "...Clive could provide me with the lifestyle I so richly deserve.."

Adam "...why I'm the best bitch..."

They discuss Clive's parents and childhood.

Clive inquires as to how and why Drew and Adam will "get a vibe" from a caller and Adam and Drew explain attempt to explain it.

Adam discusses an odd event from the other day, Adam and Drew were on a puddle jumper from Atlanta to Panama City Florida and it was a full flight and as they were taxing for a very long time Adam noticed only one of the props fired up and Adam was sitting next to the one prop that wasn't firing up, Adam then recounts sitting there thinking when is this thing going to turn on.

Adam then discusses how he kept thinking to himself that the pilot doesn't know the 2nd engine hadn't turned on and they the pilot was going to take off anyway causing their imminent deaths but he was too worried of what everyone near him would think if he freaked out or made a scene.

Adam discusses how he thought 100 times that he should get up and
tell some body but instead, Adam "...I'm going to save some face I'll lose my life..".

Clive is very intrigued by this story and wants to know what happened and Adam then explains that everything went ok.

Clive then tells the converse story of Adam's involving his first flight on the concord from JFK to LHR a 3 1/2hr trip.

Clive discusses how it was a very small plane and how he was sitting next to an enormous man who was flowing into his seat, Clive discusses this large man sweating all over him (oddly he didn't enjoy it) and then how the man jumped and screamed for them to stop the flight and the stewardess tried to get him to calm down but he insisted and then Clive discusses how interesting it was that the guy held his ground.
_________________
So Here are the facts on the recording, it was spread over 2 tapes and in 3 segments, the first was on a some rough tape or a tape that had been rercorded on several times, in fact I found a bonus of about 6 mins of an episode with Wilson Cruz on as a guest(My So Called Life) that I will post too, so the first segment is definitely listenable but slightly rough and the middle chunk was on some pristine tape and sounds great (about 40min) and then seg3 is of the same quality as seg 1, all in all it sounds better than many other archived eps and almost as good as the rest of my transfers.



Full transcript of this show:

An Interview with Clive Barker May 15, 1997:

Adam Carolla: ...At the beginning. Alright, ha, ha. Engineer Mike is uh, I’ve uh, I’ve drawn, driven him completely insane. He, you know he threw out all the chairs last night, he made a big pile.

Doctor Drew: A bonfire.

Adam Carolla: ...and uh took them out to the dumpster and ditched them.

Doctor Drew: You know, I caught him in the parking lot. As I drove in he was getting ready to take off.

Adam Carolla: Really?

Doctor Drew: Yeah he goes “Adam, I just can’t take it.”

Adam Carolla: Oh please. Please, please

Doctor Drew: That’s what he said.

Adam Carolla: He loves me.

Doctor Drew: (to engineer Mike) Did you not say that?

Adam Carolla: Yeah, he’s really going nuts. I don’t know what’s up with him. Alright PMS-ing.

(Doctor Drew drop): “I’m in pain, my breasts hurt.”

Adam Carolla: Okay, hold on Drew. Please, enough out of you. Uh, Clive Barker is here this evening, hello Clive.

Clive Barker: Good evening young Adam.

Adam Carolla: Alright be quiet for just one moment now.

Clive Barker: Okay

Adam Carolla: Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Now, for those of you who uh, don’t know Clive and I’m uh, sure you all do, Hellraiser, Candyman, Lord of Illusions, uh, what am I forgetting?

Clive Barker: A bunch of books.

Adam Carolla: A bunch of books!

Clive Barker: Bunch of books.

Adam Carolla: And the author of all of them.

Clive Barker: y-y-yeah, yeah. My mother did a couple but I don’t, no I’m kidding. Yeah, I wrote them all.

Adam Carolla: And you just did that thing, Quicksilver Highway? Clive Barker: Yeah that was one of my stories, which was adapted for Fox.

Adam Carolla: Did you and uh, Stephen King...

Clive Barker: Steve did one story I, they were both short stories which a wonderful director called Mick Garris. Took and he did The Shining recently...

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: ... on TV and I’ve known Nick a long time. He did uh, a great job and yeah. But I was you know, very remote from that. I actually had one line from it. I actually got to appear in it, which was kind of...

Adam Carolla: Oh, you acted?

Clive Barker: Well I wouldn’t go as far as that. I said a line.

Doctor Drew: You appeared. Clive Barker: I appeared, exactly.

Adam Carolla: And that was on Fox this week right?

Clive Barker: Right, right, right. A couple nights ago.

Adam Carolla: And what are you working on now?

Clive Barker: Well actually...

Adam Carolla: Cause I know you’re here just to have a good time.

Clive Barker: Ohhh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adam Carolla: Which we appreciate.

Clive Barker: Well actually that’s, that’s, that’s right. Uh, we’re doing a whole bunch of stuff with Fox actually. My company Seraphim, we’re working on a bunch of movies the week for Fox.

Adam Carolla: Mhmm. Clive Barker: And a series or two and something for kids. Fox
Kid’s network. Just a whole slew of TV series.

Adam Carolla: So obviously if your doing stuff that’s geared toward kids...

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: It’s not all the standard Clive Barker blood and
guts stuff.

Clive Barker: No, I’ve actually written allot for kids now and actually one of, one of my kids books, Thief of Always In preparation to be a feature over at Universal so kids stuff is very important to me.

Doctor Drew: What age group are you going for there? Clive Barker: Uhh, Thief, the book?

Doctor Drew: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Prenatal? Am I right?

Clive Barker: Actually no because they can’t read you know.

Adam Carolla: Oh right. Clive Barker: It’s too dark in the womb.

Adam Carolla: Listen I’m 32, I can’t read.

Clive Barker: Let’s not go there... uh, um... uh, 7 and 8 upwards. Umm, and uh, the book is taught in schools to, I guess the youngest would be 7 year olds.

Doctor Drew: Hmmm.

Adam Carolla: So your book is taught in schools?

Clive Barker: Mhmm

Adam Carolla: Is that what your saying?

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: That’s kind of cool.

Clive Barker: Yeah, it’s great. It’s really wonderful. And if, you know I’m a great reader of kid’s fiction still, and you know, go back to the classics constantly and just have a good time.

Doctor Drew: Wait, wait, wait what other classics of literature.

Clive Barker: Well I would say...

Adam Carolla: Hop on Pop?

Clive Barker: As a...

Adam Carolla: Sorry...

Clive Barker: I’m just going to move on...

Adam Carolla: Alright go, just go.

Clive Barker: Umm... Uh, Actually the English stuff I suppose you know Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan. Umm, Treasure Island I still look up to.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm

Clive Barker: Love that book. And uh, so it tends to be turn of the
century stuff.

Doctor Drew: Right.

Clive Barker: And, but more recently there’s a wonderful, actually Los Angeles author called Francesca Lia Block who wrote The Weetzie Bat books. Do you know of those books?

Doctor Drew: No

Clive Barker: They’re really wonderful. They’re for an older audience than the 7 and 8 year olds. They’re sort of, I guess early teens?

Doctor Drew: Ah-ha.

Clive Barker: But she writes this wonderfully um, knowing stylish prose about the problems of teens which in Los Angeles and the sexual stuff is, is very much a part of what she writes which obviously isn’t true of Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan unless you take a pysychoanal... psychoanalytic view of it.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: Uhh, but uh Francesca does wonderful stuff so there’s allot of contemporary writers I really enjoy for children as well.

Adam Carolla: Let me back track for just one moment here. And I should probably know the answer to this but take something like Hellraiser.

Clive Barker: Sure.

Adam Carolla: Was that part of a book or in a book...

Clive Barker: It wasn’t at all.

Adam Carolla: Or was a book?

Clive Barker: It was a novella. It is a novella actually called the Hellbound Heart which...

Adam Carolla: That’s a novel where people sing?

Clive Barker: It’s a novella where people try to sing.

Adam Carolla: Ahh, okay.

Clive Barker: Where did that come from?

Doctor Drew: Operetta Opera.

Clive Barker: Oh, oh

Doctor Drew: Novel, novella

Clive Barker: Okay.

Doctor Drew: You’ve got to follow his logic. It’s very skewed. It’s very bizarre.

Clive Barker: Can we really describe his logic? Is logic actually a theft?

Doctor Drew: No, no of course not it’s just the quality of thought that he’s exposed to here.

Clive Barker: Okay.

Adam Carolla: Let me remind you two A-holes I am in the room with you while you’re talking about me. You seem to have lost site of that.

Clive Barker: Yes it’s a novel where people sing.

Adam Carolla: And uh...

Clive Barker: -Laughs-

Adam Carolla: Are you “S”-ing me?

Clive Barker: No, I’m agreeing with you.

Adam Carolla: Okay.

Clive Barker: You’re in charge, I’m agreeing.

Adam Carolla: But more people obviously became familiar with it after it came on to the big screen.

Clive Barker: Oh, absolutely, no question. I mean probably more people have seen that uh, movie from the video that will ever read the book.

Adam Carolla: And is there... Do you have any, have you sort of been there, done that with that sort of thing or do you have plans to go back and revisit that chapter in your life.

Clive Barker: That chapter, you know it’s 10 years since that first movie came out. Now I think it’s very much a part of my past. But having said that the, you know the monsters follow me around. I mean you know, the, I’m always, I think going to be identified with the Hellraiser movies and the Candyman movies.

Adam Carolla: Pinhead and all that.

Clive Barker: Ahh, I have no problem with that. I mean they were good movies for their time. They still scare people on video. I’m, I’m proud of them.

Adam Carolla: What was the budget on the first Hellraiser?

Clive Barker: $900,000.

Adam Carolla: Really?!

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Because the effects were pretty good.

Clive Barker: Well they were for their time. I mean this is way before CGI and that stuff.

Doctor Drew: What’s CGI? Just the computer stuff?

Clive Barker: The computer generated imagery I think is the...

Doctor Drew: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: But I mean Pinhead, the makeup work and all that.

Clive Barker: It was really, it was great.

Adam Carolla: And all that. And when the guy was hanging from the chains with all the hooks in him.

Clive Barker: Well, it was all you know, a good value for money but it was a cheap, cheap movie.

Adam Carolla: And, so somebody made a ton of money on that.

Clive Barker: I wish it would be me but...

Adam Carolla: It wasn’t.

Clive Barker: No, but actually I don’t mind that. I mean I signed I suppose the
“sucker’s deal.”

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: Because I signed away the rights you know, in
perpetuity on those pictures and on those images.

Adam Carolla: Oh.

Clive Barker: Because you know, who knew? Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: And somebody was giving me $900,000 to make this picture and I was very um, I was very happy and I would have done it for free.

Adam Carolla: Well you know, I, I just had this though which is uh, it’s real easy in hindsight to say aww, you should have written, you know held you ground and maintained control and blah, blah, blah.

Doctor Drew: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: But how often does something really break out. I mean most of the time you’re just ripping off the studio, take the money, the thing doesn’t make a penny and you’re laughing all the way to the bank.

Clive Barker: And you can’t predict it. I mean that’s the point. And at the end of the day, if the work gives you pleasure to do, I think that’s where you have got to say well that’s the... I mean this sounds kind of crass but you can’t be thinking constantly about well you know, where’s the money, where’s the money because if you do, you spend your time looking at the bottom line instead of well I enjoy getting up in the morning and going to do the work.

Adam Carolla: Right. But just for kicks, how much has Hellraiser made collectively? Video...

Clive Barker: I wish... You know that’s something... Adam Carolla: International sales.

Clive Barker: Man, I wish I, somebody should compute that. I haven’t got a clue. I know I was paid $21,000 to write and direct it.

Adam Carolla: Right. Oh, picture cable rights, international, video, ohh.

Doctor Drew: You know it’s more that a hundred times that.

Adam Carolla: Well it’s hundreds of millions.

Doctor Drew: At the point.

Adam Carolla: At this point.

Clive Barker: It’s a huge amount of money.

Doctor Drew: Maybe a thousand times more.

Clive Barker: Yeah, they’ve made 3 sequels and they’re making a fourth sequel and you know, there’s been all kinds of...

Doctor Drew: Ten thousands times more.

Adam Carolla: The beauty of Loveline is that Drew and I are reaming everybody. It’s like this show can’t make a penny can it Drew?

Doctor Drew: They tell us it can’t.

Adam Carolla: The more markets we get in (this is according to the management) The more markets we get into, the less money the show is making somehow. I have not yet been able to work out that math but it keeps making less and less money.

Clive Barker: My suspicion is that studios are making the same calculations every day.

Adam Carolla: Right, coming to America lost money. Alright Drew, to the phones we go. Sara, 19.

Caller Sara: Hi guys.

Adam Carolla: Hey.

Clive Barker: Hey.

Caller Sara: Alright, I have a couple questions but first a situation is that last weekend I went drinking with a couple people from work and we started playing drinking games and I’m not a very big girl so it doesn’t take a whole lot for me to get drunk.

Adam Carolla: And let me explain drinking games.

Clive Barker: Help me with this. What is a drinking game?

Adam Carolla: There’s a few of them. They don’t have them in England.

Clive Barker: No.

Adam Carolla: In England people are loaded by noon. They don’t need drinking games over there. There’s no fun in getting someone loaded who’s already about to vomit because he’s had 14 pints during his lunch break.

Clive Barker: What is a drinking game?

Adam Carolla: But here, where we don’t drink till after work...

Clive Barker: Okay.

Adam Carolla: They have these games where basically they have like quarters, where you take a quarter and you take and empty glass and you bounce the quarter off the counter top and if it lands in the glass, you can get whoever around the table... Drew, I have to explain this to you too, I know.

Doctor Drew: What was that other game? What’s that one where you can’t point at people?

Adam Carolla: Ahh, you can’t say certain words and of course the more loaded you get, the more you screw up, the more you drink and it becomes a vicious vomiting cycle.

Clive Barker: Got it.

Adam Carolla: And what guys will do is they’ll get into these
games with a couple of women and they’ll just get them toasted.

Clive Barker: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: And people get so involved with the game that they’ll have to continue the game that even if they’re at the point of alcohol poisoning, they will still have that 15th shot. And I’m guessing something like that happened to Sara.

Caller Sara: Yeah, pretty much.

Adam Carolla: Yeah. So what happened?

Caller Sara: Well, like I said I was pretty much gone.

Adam Carolla: Was it the guys getting you to drink?

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Mhmm.

Caller Sara: And one of the guy’s fathers had an opportunity to take advantage of me.

Adam Carolla: Yes.

Caller Sara: And, now I work with him and I work with a couple of his friends too, and they’ve been harassing me at work so I just quit.

Doctor Drew: What do you mean harassing you?

Caller Sara: Um, you know, coming up to me and asking me if I’ll go out with them and you know, just stuff like that. Making rude comments.

Adam Carolla: How did the guy take advantage of you?

Caller Sara: We had sex.

Adam Carolla: And were you coherent?

Caller Sara: No. Well, I don’t remember it, I only remember parts.

Adam Carolla: Were they the good parts? Because that makes a difference. Were you passed out or just so oblivious?

Caller Sara: I was so oblivious. I remember crying.

Adam Carolla: Do you remember telling him no and trying to stop him and that kind of stuff?

Caller Sara: No.

Adam Carolla: Okay, alright. But it’s not something you want to
do or normally would have done.

Caller Sara: No, and they all know this.

Adam Carolla: Right. They know, that’s why they took you out to get drunk.

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: Because they know under sober circumstances they wouldn’t have a chance. Did you like your job?

Caller Sara: Yeah, I did.

Doctor Drew: Are you going to file a grievance?

Caller Sara: No, I told the managers what happened just so they know because I have like a couple days left, working there.

Doctor Drew: Right

Caller Sara: And I told them the situation so that if anything happened, if any of the guys kept coming up to me that if I got angry not to hold it against me.

Doctor Drew: Why don’t you actually file a grievance. I mean this is not appropriate at all.

Adam Carolla: Yeah, but against the harassment?

Doctor Drew: Yeah against harassment.

Adam Carolla: Or against the actual event.

Doctor Drew: The rape unless, did you have a forensic examination after this? Did you go to the emergency room or anything like that?

Caller Sara: No.

Adam Carolla: Well she knew she had sex with him.

Doctor Drew: Yeah, the point is she would have trouble proving that it was a rape.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Doctor Drew: But there’s no doubt that she’s being intruded upon in a workplace in ways that she is asking it not to happen.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: Well there’s two things here, right? One is what happened last Friday night.

Doctor Drew: Yes.

Clive Barker: And the other is what’s happened subsequently, right?

Doctor Drew: Correct. They’re separate issues.

Clive Barker: They’re separate issues.

Doctor Drew: And the one last Friday, it sounds like you know, she doesn’t want to deal with that and hadn’t dealt with it and it’d be tough to deal with it in retrospect.

Clive Barker: Right.

Doctor Drew: Although certainly she could.

Adam Carolla: But Sara, you sure you want to quit? I mean you say you like the job. Certainly you could discipline these guys or have these guys disciplined if they kept up.

Caller Sara: Yeah, I’ve talked to the manager.

Doctor Drew: What kind of job is it?

Caller Sara: I work in a restaurant business.

Doctor Drew: Are you a waitress?

Caller Sara: A hostess.

Adam Carolla: Oh, you can get a hostess job anywhere though Sara.

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: That’s no big deal. Alright, you can quit.

Caller Sara: Yeah.

Adam Carolla: You have my permission to quit.

Caller Sara: Okay, thank you.

Adam Carolla: Steal as many of those mints as you can carry away from the counter when you leave.

Clive Barker: And the toothpicks.

Adam Carolla: Toothpicks, mints, and I would go for that whole March of Dimes coin bucket too that they put right there by the register.

Clive Barker: No, no. No, no.

Doctor Drew: And Sara, it’s actually a pretty conflict situation you’re seeing with lots of different issues here and I don’t know if we can get into all of them. One is what’s going on with you and alcohol. Two is why did these guys see you as a victim. Three, what are you going to do about this rape, and eve if you had said yes, I don’t know if you’re in California but in California you can’t have sec with somebody that’s not able to render consent due to intoxication, it’s rape. And then four, what are you going to do with the workplace situation, which is harassing and abusive. And these are complex, very difficult issues. I would suggest you get some kind of help with this, I whether it’s legal council, psychological council, something to help you sort it out.

Adam Carolla: Psychological alright.

Doctor Drew: She’s 19 and doing this on her own, very difficult, And this is not a situation, and you were a victim straight down the line.

Adam Carolla: Alright, but I hate to say this but this happens every day.

Doctor Drew: Well, guess what, it doesn’t make it right.

Adam Carolla: Okay... Thanks Drew. Boy, don’t look at me, please. I haven’t done this in a long time.

Doctor Drew: Well you’re saying as though you condone it.

Adam Carolla: No, I’m just saying...

Doctor Drew: I’m about to get on my soap ops about the empowerment women again.

Adam Carolla: Please, stay away from the soap ops and your empowerment of women. If you could. What’d you do, take a quaalude before you came in.

Clive Barker: -Laughs-

Adam Carolla: -Laughs-


Drew Drop: “I’m in pain, my breasts hurt.”

Doctor Drew: Do you want start talking about my workday?

Adam Carolla: No, I don’t want to talk about your workday. Listen,

Doctor Drew: 3A. 3A.

Adam Carolla: 3A what?

Clive Barker: What is 3A.

Adam Carolla: You put your finger in three...

Doctor Drew: I started my work, I did B and then I started... It was a horrible day.

Adam Carolla: Oh, alright listen, if had to be somewhere at 3 A.M. I would just stay up.

Clive Barker: So if you drop syllables we should just forgive you?

Doctor Drew: I don’t even know where I am today. Really I’ve just been working all day. It’s ridiculous.

Adam Carolla: It’s what??

Doctor Drew: Recockulous.

Adam Carolla: Thank you.

Doctor Drew: My first patient was at 5 in the morning.

Clive Barker: So the whole thing’s recockulous and you’re giving advice.

Adam Carolla: Oh, Drew could do this. Drew will continue to do the show three months after he dies.

Clive Barker: There you go.

Adam Carolla: I swear to God, engineer Mike.

Clive Barker: Will the advice get better?

Adam Carolla: It won’t get worse, I can tell you that. We will, I want to mic up Drew’s corpse when they put him in the ground and we’ll do a remote. We’ll put like a lavaliere on you.

Clive Barker: You’ll be kind of smothered but...

Adam Carolla: Edward, 30.

Caller Edward: Hi.

Adam Carolla: Hey.

Caller Edward: Um, I’ve got a girlfriend that...

Doctor Drew: Turn your radio down or Adam will hang up on you!

Caller Edward: Okay.

Adam Carolla: Alright, well.

Doctor Drew: Too late.

Adam Carolla: He has to learn. I didn’t hang up, he’ll just wait the mandatory hour and 45 minutes. Alright umm, John, 17.

Caller John: Hey, how’s it going Adam, Drew. I need you guys to know something.

Adam Carolla: Mmm.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm.

Caller John: You’re talking to a real renaissance man there.

Adam Carolla: Clive?

Caller John: Clive Barker.

Adam Carolla: Oh, absolutely.

Clive Barker: Thank you, thank you.

Caller John: The guy is absolutely amazing.

Clive Barker: Thank you.

Caller John: He writes plays, geeze, he’s incredible.

Doctor Drew: He’s here

Caller John: So I wanted to ask him a couple of questions. Would that be alright?

Adam Carolla: Hold on, let me ask him. Clive?

Caller John: I noticed there’s a real departure from allot of your other stuff.

Clive Barker: Right.

Caller John: Your other stuff didn’t you know, involve allot of you know, self-discovery journeys and that kind of thing.

Clive Barker: Sure

Caller John: But a lot of it was behind you know, allot of mistresses and then stuff.

Clive Barker: Right.

Caller John: And this one wasn’t so much. It was allot of psyche stuff, I noticed that.

Clive Barker: And really very much dealing with kind of real world issues. I mean...

Caller John: Yeah.

Clive Barker: The hero of that book is a wildlife photographer, and he really
photographs almost exclusively creatures that are on the verge of extinction, which is you know, something that...

Doctor Drew: Adam confided in me that his appearances on Loveline changed his writing style completely.

Adam Carolla: -Laughs-

Clive Barker: Yeah, yeah, you know...

Doctor Drew: It’s being more reality based.

Adam Carolla: Really?

Clive Barker: Listening to Dr. Drew here, I now just you know, ridiculous and all kinds of stuff.

Adam Carolla: Recockulous!

Clive Barker: Recockulous. Um no, to just go back to the issue of change in style you know, I’ve been writing now 14, publishing now 14 years. I’m 44, I want to continue to develop what I’m doing. I want to continue to find fresh avenues for my work. You know, one of the worse things I think you can do to yourself as an artist and certainly to your audience is repeat yourself. I know there is a big marketplace for just going and just doing the same thing again.

Caller John: Mhmm.

Clive Barker: You know, and that’s true of moviemakers and it’s true of filmmakers. It’s true for writers, it’s true pretty much across the arts that if you find something that works, very often the pressure is to just go and do it again.

Adam Carolla: Right and... Clive Barker: But you know, if I write a book, it’s 15 months of my life, and to go and do what I did last time is just drudgery.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: So, the new book here, Galilee, which I started the final draft of that yesterday, it’s another seven months from delivery you know, is a departure again. The whole idea is to keep reinventing myself.

Adam Carolla: How, I don’t want to say devoted but obviously you have a following who will go out and get Clive Barker’s latest offering.

Clive Barker: Right, right.

Caller John: All I have to do id see Clive Barker on the cover.

Clive Barker: I Love that, thank you.

Caller John: I’d totally buy it right there. I actually found it in Savemart which is...

Clive Barker: Oh really, Sacrament was in Savemart?

Caller John: Yeah.

Clive Barker: -Laughs- Caller John: It was paperback. It was right up there by the aisle and I couldn’t believe it.

Clive Barker: Very cool, we’re preaching to the unconverted out there.

Caller John: I think it’s kind of ironic that you don’t find it in you know, all the other big chain book stores.

Clive Barker: I love it! Savemart.

Adam Carolla: Why don’t you find it in the big chain bookstores?

Clive Barker: Well you should though, very often.

Caller John: You can, I saw it at the grocery store first though.

Clive Barker: Oh yeah, I just think that’s so cool you know, along with Danielle Steel presumably.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: You know one of the things for me as a passionate advocate of the word, I mean we live in a you know, the post literate age, we’re constantly being told. Actually what I am discovering is that, allot of people coming back to books.

Doctor Drew: Oh yes, absolutely.

Clive Barker: The word is being rediscovered and you know, umm...

Adam Carolla: Well with each new piece of technology people naturally assume the old technology will die, immediately.

Clive Barker: Right.

Adam Carolla: I have a friend who’s a high powered guy in the newspaper business and people are always coming at him with “My God, the newspapers are going to be obsolete in another 6 months!” But they’re not and they haven’t been and they‘ve kept up and this is uh, this is a way of getting information that people like. Newspapers, books, magazines, whatever it is. And just because it’s more convenient to get it from a computer or some other source doesn’t mean that’s what people want.

Clive Barker: Something else though, and we were talking before we came on the
air about, Dr. Drew was here saying that the theatre of the mind, you were talking about radio, the theatre of the mind.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm, mhmm.

Clive Barker: As compared with television where you know, people are reading the screen and seeing all these nuances on your face and you said before we came on the air, many of your viewers were disappointed to see you in the flesh because they had an image of you from radio uh, which was their own creation. Now I think there’s a parallel in books. Books are a very intimate experience in part because you are a co-creator with the author.

Doctor Drew: Mhmm.

Clive Barker: You’re not passively receiving stimuli, visual stimuli, THX, whatever else it is in the cinematic experience. You can just sit there and you know, it can wash over you. It can be incredibly loud and you can you know, feel the seat shaking beneath you and yet you can walk out of the cinema and sort of shrug it off.

Adam Carolla: Right.

Clive Barker: If you involve yourself in a book and connect with the author’s mind, there is a sense in which I said before, you’re sort of co-creating the book. You said the theatre of the mind for radio; well I think books are the ultimate theatre of the mind. Something is you’re casting this thing in your head, you’re creating it, the images in you’re head, and I think that that experience and the energy of that experience and the power of that experience will never ever be superseded. It doesn’t matter how slick the movie becomes, however you know, amazing the interactive you know, virtual reality experience becomes the ultimate virtual reality is taking words off a page and finding it coming to life in your minds eye.

Adam Carolla: But what about Pinhead?

Clive Barker: Oh god, can I cut out his eyes with my fingers?

Adam Carolla: Alright...

Doctor Drew: I thought he was going to bring up porno so as long as he doesn’t do that.

Adam Carolla: I wanted to bring up porno but Drew just stepped on my line. Alright listen, we have to go to break. We’ll be back with Clive and I hope we get to some gambling tonight because I think Clive will a formidable opponent for Dr. Drew who’s just been kicking my ass at the gambling table lately.

Doctor Drew: I bought my kids ice cream tonight with your five bucks too.

Adam Carolla: Alright, I hope they get salmonella.

Bumper: Here’s Loveline before de-worming –barking-, here’s Loveline after getting fixed –yelping-. Here’s Loveline chewing out it’s stitches –growl-. Here’s Loveline dragging its butt across the carpet. Bad Loveline! Bad Loveline! (Different Voice): Loveline has been bad and will be right back.

Station ID: 98.5 KLME.

Station bumper: 1-800-LOVE-191, that’s 1-800- L-O-V-E-191 to get on Loveline on 98.5 KOME.

(Bumper Music)

Adam Carolla: Alllllright it is Loveline. Phone number 1-800-L- O-V-E-191, fax number 310-854-4455. We are here with the creator of Hellraiser, Candyman, Lord of Illusions and many other endeavors, literary and cinematic. A renaissance man as he was called.
Clive Barker: I’ve got a fax here from Kristen Anderson in Portland, Oregon, a lovely message and I wanted to thank her for that. She asked me where I get my ideas from and that’s like, that’s the $64,000 question. I was having a conversation with my mom and dad recently about you know, was I a weird kid? And my mom said, “Of course you were a weird kid dear. You know, like why would you ever imagine otherwise?” Which I sort have found comforting in a way. They then sent me a picture from when I was six I guess of my class all lined up or sitting you know, the photograph, this would be 1959-1960 and I had this right there worried looking kid with his hair slicked back with a little bow tie looking rather fiercely at the (camera). And I think yeah, I probably was a damn weird kid.
Adam Carolla: Were you socially, were you an outcast or did you have lots of friends.
Clive Barker: No, I didn’t have allot of friends. I had allot of imaginary friends. I mean my mother tells the tail of just being able to sort of park me in a corner and allow me to talk to the invisible friends.
Adam Carolla: Right.
Clive Barker: And I was having a conversation with my dear friends Anna who is one of my partners in the film company she was talking about being able to talk to animals when she was a kid and needing to talk to, needing something that was perhaps other than human to share her problems with and animals were always the thing that Anna you know conversed with, and I conversed with these invisibles. And I think sometimes that what I write is a continuation of that conversation. That when I’m writing, these things that I’m writing about are absolutely as real as you guys are right now.
Adam Carolla: And you grew up in England right? Clive Barker: Yeah, in Liverpool. Adam Carolla: Alright see, that’s the problem. Clive Barker: It’s the water.
Adam Carolla: 1960 England, there’s three channels and two of them are the gardening channel.
Clive Barker: You’re right. Adam Carolla: Imagine how many imaginary friends you would
cook up.
Clive Barker: Well in 1960 we did not have a television.
Adam Carolla: Ughhh! You poor dear. I would sue my parents.
Clive Barker: Yeah, but well you know, all joking aside that was a wonderful thing.
Adam Carolla: Right Doctor Drew: My favorite Clive Barker story is what his
Grandmother told him. Clive Barker: Which part of what my Grandmother told me?
Doctor Drew: About using public restrooms.
Clive Barker: Oh man. Well...
Adam Carolla: And the inspiration for the Candyman?
Clive Barker: And the inspiration for the Candyman, yeah. My, shall I repeat it?
Adam Carolla: Yes.
Clive Barker: My Grandmother was an extraordinary storyteller and uh, part Irish. Very uh, loved telling the dark stories you know, and she told me absolutely that if I went into a public lavatory in England or in Liverpool, there was this guy who went around and cut the “pee-pees” off little boys in public
(Sound Drop played) Clive Barker: Oh, thank you. How dramatic. And it’s you know
that the kind of thing...
Adam Carolla: How old were you when she told you this? Clive Barker: Five probably.
Doctor Drew: Uhhh.
Adam Carolla: And you bought it until you were what, 22, 23 or?
Clive Barker: Still thin it’s true
Doctor Drew: (off mic) And you can get the Candyman to act it out.
Adam Carolla: He still sits down to go number one ladies and gentlemen and that’s at home. Kelly...
Clive Barker: That’s more information than anybody needs. Adam Carolla: Kelly 23. Caller Kelly: Hi Adam, his Drew
Adam Carolla: Hey. Caller Kelly: ...Hi Clive.
Clive Barker: Hey, how you doing? Sorry I was taking a little drink of, yeah.
Caller Kelly: Um this is, I have a comment and a question. Doctor Drew: Mhmm.
Caller Kelly: My comment is I hear you guys every night talking to alcoholics and addicts who are teenagers and allot of them are presumably college students, and I just wanted to share my own experience. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve been sober for four years and one of the things, actually it was probably three things from twelve-stepping that got me through college was living in a substancery house.
Doctor Drew: Mhmm.
Caller Kelly: And I know that most colleges and universities have these and my advice to any college student right now who is struggling because they are drinking too much, get in this program. Do whatever you can to get into a substancrey house. It’s the best gift you can get.
Adam Carolla: Now when you say house, do you mean like dorm? Or is it a...
Caller Kelly: Yeah, it’s a dorm. Sometimes they have like floors you know, it’ll be like floor six of a dorm is devoted to substance, and you know, they have different programming, um usually they have peer councilors, more R.A.’s than you would have on other floors or... Mine was a whole dorm.
Doctor Drew: Kelly, excellent suggestion and I think maybe one of the reasons you don’t hear us making specific suggestions like that is if you listen, the thing we’re dealing with most significantly
is just trying to break down their denial so they at least accept or understand the fact that they have a disease and what the quality of the disease is.
Caller Kelly: Oh sure, I mean I just wanted to share my own experience.
Doctor Drew: Great.
Caller Kelly: Umm, my problem now is I’m 23 and I’m getting ready to go back to school. I’ve been accepted into a post bach pre- med program.
Doctor Drew: Mhmm.
Caller Kelly: And I got a form in the mail the other day, I have to have a physical and one of the questions of course they ask about a whole bunch of diseases and one of them is alcoholism, and I was wondering if this is going to hurt me at all to...
Doctor Drew: For a medical school application? Caller Kelly: Um no, it’s not a med school application. I’ve been
accepted to a post bachelorette pre-med program.
Doctor Drew: Right, I can’t imagine...
Adam Carolla: What the hell is a post-bachelorette?!!
Caller Kelly: Well I was a voice major in college.
Doctor Drew: It means after she graduated she’s going back and getting some pre-med requirements out of the way.
Adam Carolla: What do you do as a voice major, like phone machines and stuff?
Caller Kelly: Nooo. Doctor Drew: Radio. Caller Kelly: Opera.
Adam Carolla: Oh Opera. Oh hold on uh, Drew’s got a woody going. Do a little, could you guys collaborate on something? Give us a little shot opera Kelly.
Doctor Drew: Don’t let him do this to you Kelly. Adam Carolla: Shhhh. Please Drew, I know good radio. Caller Kelly: What’s your favorite opera. Doctor Drew: It’s not worthy of your training. Adam Carolla: What is mine? Uh... Caller Kelly: No no, no, no. Drew, Drew’s. Adam Carolla: Oh, okay. Doctor Drew: What’s my favorite opera? Caller Kelly: Yeah. Adam Carolla: Oh just spit one out, please. Caller Kelly: Do you like Puccini, Verdi? Doctor Drew: I like allot of Verdi. Caller Kelly: Alright, I’ll sing you uhh. Doctor Drew: How about...
Caller Kelly: Pace, Mio Dio Doctor Drew: Fine.
Adam Carolla: Can you give her a little reverb engineer Mike? Alright, you ready Kelly?
Caller Kelly: Oh, sure. Adam Carolla: Are you a big woman?
Caller Kelly: ...No
Adam Carolla: Alright.
Clive Barker: Big Voice?
Adam Carolla: There was a little pause there. Alright, go ahead Kelly.
Caller Kelly: I’m not... Adam Carolla: I add ten pounds for every tenth of a second the
pause after the big woman question. Caller Kelly: I’m 5’5” and I weigh 140. Adam Carolla: Alright Caller Kelly: That’s not too big. Adam Carolla: A little pause. Alright go ahead.
Caller Kelly: Okay umm (singing opera) Pace, pace. pace mio dio pace mio dio. (talking) I can’t sing very loud because my roommate is asleep.
Adam Carolla: That was wonderful and... Caller Kelly: I thought it sucked.
Adam Carolla: Well, you may make a better doctor, we never know.
Clive Barker: I want to ask the same question of you Kelly, what’s your favorite opera?
Caller Kelly: Oh my favorite opera is La forza. That’s what Pace’s from La forza.
Clive Barker: Okay, okay.
Adam Carolla: Alright this is turning into some BBC special hosted by Alistair Cooke for Christ’s sake. Come on, let’s get back to boobs and BJ’s.
Caller Kelly: No, my question, my question. Adam Carolla: Ah yes. Caller Kelly: Should I admit to being an alcoholic? Adam Carolla: Noo! Please no.
Doctor Drew: It’s none of their business but I don’t think it can harm you at the institution where you are now. I don’t know if it makes an issue in terms of your application process for medical schools.
Clive Barker: Well if they’re asking the question...
Doctor Drew: Well I think they’re just trying to create a medical record for them to know what sorts of issues they may have to look for if something should happen to this person.
Clive Barker: Well why do they need to know? Adam Carolla: He just said why you smart-ass. Clive Barker: Yeah, but that’s not a real reason. That’s just...
Doctor Drew: No, no let’s say she just turns up unconscious on campus and they look up her record it’s “Oh she has a history of alcoholism, she might have overdosed on something, let’s look quickly at that possibility.”
Adam Carolla: Yeah, a little tenuous there Drew. I’m with Clive on this one. I don’t believe...
Doctor Drew: It’s none of their business. She doesn’t have to feel compelled to tell them I don’t think.
Clive Barker: Right.
Doctor Drew: I think if she has a relationship with a medical caretaker, a person, she really needs to be honest with that person or they can’t do their job properly but in terms of a record, that’s her business.
Clive Barker: It also seems Kelly has gone through allot of steps to get sober and healthy and all those other things.
Doctor Drew: Oh yeah. Clive Barker: And taking even the smallest risk of being you
know, dealt with in a negative way because of something.
Doctor Drew: Well, yeah. I tell you what though, there is such insanity in how this culture deals with addiction and alcoholism. Such inconsistencies, such lack of understanding about what this thing is. I hate to have people hide or feel ashamed of it. It should be no different than diabetes.
Clive Barker: Right, right but it is. Doctor Drew: I know. I understand that.
Clive Barker: So you know, the healthy attitude is fine but unfortunately dealing very often with institution...
Doctor Drew: Yep, I understand what you’re saying.
Clive Barker: You know, you’re not dealing with sane people very often. You’re dealing with people with terrible prejudices and bureaucracy.
Adam Carolla: Alright. I don’t know, I’m sorry but we have to go to break.
Clive Barker: I’m sorry we’ll sing a little. Adam Carolla: Nah, that’s alright.
Adam Carolla: When we come back, Drew will do something from the Barber of Seville, will you not Drew?
Doctor Drew: I will not.
Bumper: Ernie, the world’s fastest drummer for Loveline: Hi. When I’m not drumming up a storm ha-ha-ha... What was the rest of it? Loveline will be right back.
Station bumper: Get on Loveline on 98.5 KOME. (Bumper Music)
Adam Carolla: Hey, Loveline! I’m Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew and he is Clive Barker.
Doctor Drew: And we shouldn’t be embarrassed by that or pull away from that.
Adam Carolla: Alright, it’s a meeting of the minds over here. A plate on Socrates going at it and I’m like the Hey Vern guy sitting in the middle. It’s humiliating. You know, we have to find a happy balance on this show. We either have the guests that are completely brain dead or we go “Listen, we’re gambling on the past of the person. We want to know what happened in her past that made her into the person she is today.” (Imitating a brain dead guest) “Uhhh, bad hair day?”
Doctor Drew: That happened a couple days ago.
Adam Carolla: We either get that or we get Clive Barker over here who actually was just arguing in Latin with Drew. Alright, so there’s got to be somewhere in the middle, someone I can identify with. But Clive is here.
Clive Barker: What is bad hair day in Latin? Adam Carolla: Don’t put me on the spot. Clive Barker: I’m sorry. Can I answer another fax here?
Adam Carolla: Oh, for... It’s me, me, me. It’s Clive, Clive, Clive. Clive Barker: I know but somebody asked a question and I want
to answer it. Adam Carolla: Okay.
Clive Barker: A gentleman called Keith Bussel here in Santa Monica just faxed and asked whether I was writing any sequels to a book I wrote called The Great and Secret Show. And there’s a whole bunch of answers to that question Keith, but I did a book called Everville which was a direct sequel to that book and then there will be a third book in, what I think will eventually just be a trilogy which I will start writing next year.
Adam Carolla: Well let’s talk about the creative process for just a, one moment because we have allot of people listening. I myself was trapped in this process and then still am to some degree but when I was like 18 or 19 I had a whole bunch of good ideas and I couldn’t think of what to do with them and I could not discipline myself to work on them, go out and... Because stuff does not happen overnight as much as the media would like to portray it that way and as much as it’s convenient for you to think that people came out of nowhere, people hoan their craft. I don’t care if it’s painting, I don’t care if it’s dance, singing, comedy, literature, whatever it is, people hoan their craft. How do you, first off do you have to discipline yourself to sit down and crank out X amount of pages or is it something you love so much that you’re just compelled to do it?
Clive Barker: Oh, I think both can be true. Adam Carolla: Yes.
Clive Barker: I think you can be completely obsessed with business of doing it and still find it very painful.
Adam Carolla: Right.
Clive Barker: And I am you know, I said earlier on that I’ve just started the final draft of my new book. It’s seven months from delivery and so that means for the next seven months, seven days a week I’m at my desk between 8:30 and 9:00. I finish when I’ve done somewhere around two thousand words, and that will continue for seven months and part of me thinks that’s a kind of prison sentence.
Adam Carolla: Right. You got a TV at your desk? Clive Barker: Damn, absolutely not. I’ve got nothing
Adam Carolla: Ohh, that’s more than prison. You know, there’s TV in prison. They’ve got cable in most places.
Clive Barker: I’ve got a boyfriend who says “Geeze do you really have to write? It’s Sunday.” And I say “Yeah, you know what? I do.” And he’s respectful of that and it’s very important for me in my relationships to have somebody who understands that need, and it’s a need in me. It’s an appetite in me.
Adam Carolla: Right, and he’d probably be miserable if he dragged you away from it because then you’d be miserable and you’d make him miserable.
Clive Barker: That’s exactly right, that’s exactly right.
Doctor Drew: I’m sorry, how long did you write everyday?
Adam Carolla: See, I know the gay relationships. We have one.
Clive Barker: Uhhh
Adam Carolla: It’s a handful of gay relationship that we have.
Clive Barker: How long do I write? Doctor Drew: Yeah.
Clive Barker: Probably 8, 9 hours.
Doctor Drew: Every day? Clive Barker: Every day.
Doctor Drew: Ahh, and seven days a week? Clive Barker: Seven days a week.
Doctor Drew: Whoooo. Clive Barker: But you know, I do love it and I am aware that I am
blessed to be able to, I mean...
Doctor Drew: Is it like Mozart where the stuff just comes out of you or do you have to sit there and struggle with it.
Clive Barker: Well I was doing it at six.
Doctor Drew: But you know what I mean.
Clive Barker: Sure, sure.
Doctor Drew: His music just would come out of him.
Clive Barker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No it’s, I don’t get touched something wooden. I don’t get blocked.
Adam Carolla: Well obviously. How many, I don’t know if you’re going to be able to calculate this but go ahead and round up. How many pages do you think you’ve written in the last you know, ten years?
Clive Barker: Ohh, there’s a good one. This is the twentieth book and you know the average book is what? 400, 500 pages.
Adam Carolla: So is that like 9,000 pages? Clive Barker: I don’t know. Allot of pages Adam Carolla: Is that what that is? Dr. Drew: Roughly.
Clive Barker: But I hand write everything so...
Adam Carolla: Oh you do? And then somebody, you pay and Asian woman to...
Clive Barker: No, no. A wonderful guy called Don does you know, types all the stuff up for me.
Adam Carolla: That would be the worst job in the world for me. Clive Barker: Hey, hey, hey. This is Deathless Prose. He’s very,
very happy.
Adam Carolla: Oh, I’m sure he says he is.
Adam Carolla: Edward, 30.
Caller Edward: Hi.
Adam Carolla: Hey.
Clive Barker: Hey guy
Caller Edward: I’ve got the radio off.
Adam Carolla: Great, oh sorry. Ha-ha we haven’t talked to Edward in like an hour. That’s right. Alright big penalties, sorry.
Caller Edward: Okay, I’ve got a girlfriend and she is afraid to go home but, and her parents wont let her have any of her clothes or her contacts and...
Doctor Drew: What do you mean she’s afraid to go home? Caller Edward: Huh? Doctor Drew: What do you mean she’s afraid to go home? Caller Edward: Oh because she knows she’s in trouble. Doctor Drew: With what? For what?
Caller Edward: Well because she came over and got caught, well you know, she was gone for a couple days and her parents found out that she wasn’t at her friends.
Adam Carolla: Now wait a minute, you’re thirty. Caller Edward: Yeah.
Doctor Drew: How old is she? Caller Edward: Fifteen.
Doctor Drew: Oh for... Adam Carolla: Go ahead Drew, say it. Use the Lord’s name in
vain. Uhh, yeah. And now wait where did you guys meet? Caller Edward: Huh?
Adam Carolla: Where do you meet a fifteen year old? Caller Edward: It was in a mall. Adam Carolla: At a mall? Caller Edward: Yeah.
Adam Carolla: Alright, that makes sense. Were you the guy out in front of the Shafer and Sons place playing the organ?
Caller Edward: Guitar. Adam Carolla: You’re pulling my leg. How’d you meet her at the
mall?
Caller Edward: I was just there hanging out and she had some time.
Adam Carolla: And you just picked up on her. Caller Edward: Well, it was kind of mutual. Adam Carolla: And when did you find out she was 15?
Caller Edward: It was, right away. Adam Carolla: Oh really?
Caller Edward: Well, like the next time I talked to her.
Doctor Drew: And you didn’t see anything wrong with that?
Caller Edward: Uh yeah, of course I did.
Doctor Drew: What’s the quality of the relationship now?
Caller Edward: It’s well, very good. We hardly ever fight.
Doctor Drew: Is this like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing? Caller Edward: Yeah.
Clive Barker: How long has it been going on for?
Caller Edward: What, ahh eight months.
Adam Carolla: So it’s a sexual relationship?
Caller Edward: It developed into that, yeah,
Adam Carolla: Oh yes. That was on the second date actually.
Caller Edward: Well she can’t go home and I’m not going to throw her out on the street and you know but...
Adam Carolla: Well she can go home, she’s just gonna...
Caller Edward: She called her...
Doctor Drew: Edward, this is how most people that do what you do think, is that you’re going to save the and fix them and you’re good for them. These are young people who are being abused at home, who seek out other people who can continue to abuse them in some fashion. You’re not helping her.
Caller Edward: Well...
Doctor Drew: A thirty year old and a fifteen year old is not helping a fifteen year old.
Caller Edward: Can, do you have a number that she can like call? Doctor Drew: Sure. Adam Carolla: You do? Is she being abused at home, Edward? Caller Edward: Uhh, I doubt it. I doubt she ever was.
Doctor Drew: She’s never been struck? Caller Edward: No. Well yeah actually, by her step dad.
Doctor Drew: Okay, that would be physical abuse. Now kids that leave home and don’t come back are being abused at home, almost by definition.
Adam Carolla: And let me tell you, when your stepparents are hitting you, there’s something even more going on there. I guarantee it. Because stepparents are either in or they’re out. They’re either nice, warm and loving, or just maniacal molesters. I have stepparents actually.
Doctor Drew: Here’s Child Help USA, which is a 24-hour hotline for runaways. It’s 1-800-422-4453, 1-800-422-4453.
Adam Carolla: Edward, what do you do for a living? Caller Edward: Musician. Adam Carolla: Really? How’s that going? Caller Edward: Ehh, it pays the bills.
Adam Carolla: Really? Caller Edward: Yeah
Adam Carolla: Why, where do, what do you play? Play in a band?
Caller Edward: No, like uh studio gigs.
Adam Carolla: Uh-hu.
Caller Edward: And I sit in other places. I get gigs around Seattle.
Adam Carolla: Yeah, don’t you, aren’t you sort of humiliated going around with a fifteen year old.
Caller Edward: No, she’s very mature acting and looking. Adam Carolla: Right but still, your friends must know. Caller Edward: Uh, no, She lies. Adam Carolla: So she tells people she’s sixteen and a half? Caller Edward: Nineteen.
Adam Carolla: Oh, okay. And the problem is she lost a retainer at your place and can’t go home? Alright listen, Edward...
Caller Edward: Well she calls and talks to... Adam Carolla: Edward! Do not rationalize your vermonism. Doctor Drew: You’re preying on her. Adam Carolla: You are human excrement, believe me. Caller Edward: Well I knew you would chew me out so go for it.
Adam Carolla: Alright, well you know you’ve done wrong. And she has to go home at sort of take her medicine and you have to let her leave and give yourself your own medicine because you’re thirty and there’s no one that’s going to give it to you. But you understand this is bizarre, out of line, and not only is it not doing her any favors, you’re not doing yourself a favor here.
Doctor Drew: This is one of the ways pedophiles think too is that oh, they’re helping and they’re going to make better and enrich them and save them and cherish them.
Adam Carolla: Oh, so read them all the classics. Doctor Drew: And therefore “And what I’ll do then is fall in love
with them and then I’ll have sex with them when they’re twelve.” Adam Carolla: Right, Doctor Drew: And uh, please. Adam Carolla: Alright Edward...
Doctor Drew: Please, you’re thirty Edward! Caller Edward: Right Doctor Drew: You’re thirty. Adam Carolla: Yeah, send her home. Caller Edward: Okay.
Adam Carolla: Alright, and if it’s an abusive home, call that number.
Doctor Drew: Yeah, call the number in any event.
Adam Carolla: Alright
Doctor Drew: Call the department of social services locally too.
Adam Carolla: Drew, is there an opera about this you could sing about.
Doctor Drew: No. Adam Carolla: Okay.
Clive Barker: Here’s just an abstract question. I know you have to take a position because of the fact that you’re an authority figure on a program like this.
Doctor Drew: No, no, I don’t. I don’t mean to stop you there but I take positions based on my experience.
Clive Barker: Alright, but let me then ask the question. Do you ever think a relationship between a fifteen year old and a thirty year old can ever be constructive and good.
Doctor Drew: There is absolutely nothing in human biology or human behavior that you can say always or never about.
Clive Barker: Okay.
Doctor Drew: Nothing.
Clive Barker: Okay. So you would grand that there could be...
Doctor Drew: There could be. But in my experience you know, of God knows how many times...
Clive Barker: No, I’m just asking you know, whether the Lolita thing if you like or whatever is ever.
Doctor Drew: I can’t say never, ever.
Clive Barker: Because there is a long and actually honorable Greek tradition of Socratic tradition of an older man and a younger boy or a younger girl where the very things you were just talking about were valued, and I know we live in a culture which finds them...
Adam Carolla: This sort of mentor thing. Clive Barker: Right. Adam Carolla: Right.
Clive Barker: And I just want to offer up the possibility that if it was true once, maybe under certain, very specific circumstances it can still be true.
Adam Carolla: You’ve got your eye in a young guy Clive or? Clive Barker: No.
Adam Carolla: Okay, just wanted to know if you were working an angle.
Clive Barker: No, no, no.
Adam Carolla: It is an interesting question you pose because it is something that historically has gone on for millions of years, and only recently in terms of the earth’s calendar are we really frowning on it.
Clive Barker: Well... Adam Carolla: And I mean in like the last you know, 75 years,
100 years.
Doctor Drew: No wait, wait, wait, wait.
Adam Carolla: And if you think about it
Doctor Drew: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Adam Carolla: Alright, well hold. We’ve got to go to break.
Doctor Drew: You’re confusing a few issues here. One is, one is...
Adam Carolla: Drew, we’ve got to go to break. Doctor Drew: Alright.
Adam Carolla: I’m going to let you gather yourself because you do need some collecting.
Doctor Drew: I do? Adam Carolla: No... Doctor Drew: Absol... No I just can’t tell.
Adam Carolla: You uh, you’re like a sack of leaves that has been tossed about the studio. You need a gardener to come in here and put you in a bundle.
Doctor Drew: The scarecrow on the Wizard of Oz. Adam Carolla: Yes, I will light you on fire and then dump water
on Clive after this. Bumper: (man singing): Loooove...
(man talking): Loveline will be right back after, uh... Hello! Uh...
(man singing): Loveline, Loveline, Loveline, Loveline, Loveli- eyi-eyi-eyi-eyieyieyiiiine.
(man talking): Loveline will be right back, after we kill this singer.
Station bumper: ...191. That’s 1-800-L-O-V-E-191 to get on Loveline on 98.5 KOME. (Phone ringing).
(Bumper Music) Adam Carolla: Ohhh yeah, hello. We are ere with Clive Barker
the author, the moviemaker, the painter, the lover of young boys...
Clive Barker: No, no, no.
Adam Carolla: And the lover of fine wine. I just thought I’d slip that in there. Lover of art, a true renaissance man with a classical education. And then there’s me, and then there’s Drew who’s really Clive without the accent. And uh...
Clive Barker: -laughs-
Doctor Drew: I would have to go to the right.
Adam Carolla: And the money and the lifestyle. And really, I’ll tell you, I know you’re in a relationship right now. You’ve had a boyfriend for a while. I’m not gay currently, but I’m thinking...
Clive Barker: You’re open to opportunity.
Adam Carolla: Ahh, I’m thinking of making the move.
Clive Barker: Yeah.
Adam Carolla: You know, if the right thing comes along. It’s sort of...
Doctor Drew: He means you Clive. Adam Carolla: What I’m saying is that heterosexuality is a job
that I like right now. Clive Barker: But,
Adam Carolla: But if some other company came courting and the money was right, I would jump ship. You know what I’m saying? And Clive...
Doctor Drew: Except for the sex with guys part.
Clive Barker: This is a...
Adam Carolla: Clive could provide, but I’d get you dudes.
Clive Barker: -laughs-
Adam Carolla: I’d get them right off the air.
Clive Barker: I can’t believe he’s pimping on the air.
Adam Carolla: But Clive could provide me the kind of lifestyle that I so richly deserve. Alright, wait a minute.
Clive Barker: No, I’m not the sugar daddy type, I’m sorry but thank you for the offer.
Adam Carolla: Alright, we have to go to a ten second break here but I'm going to explain to you why I’m the best bitch.
Clive Barker: Do I get diagrams? Adam Carolla: Yes, you get photos signed by the photographer. In ten seconds.
Station ID: This is Loveline on radio station: Loveline, Sunday through Thursday at ten P.M. on New Rock, 98.5 KOME: San Jose/San Francisco.
Adam Carolla: Alright, so we were discussing the Clive Barker empire. Started off in England in a sort of middle class? Were you upper middle class? Clive Barker: Working class. My dad worked on the docks.
Adam Carolla: Oh really? Clive Barker: Mhmm.
Adam Carolla: Okay so... Clive Barker: He was Italian. Adam Carolla: So he works and he drank and he worked. Clive Barker: Ah, he didn’t drink but he worked, yeah very hard. Adam Carolla: Okay, so he worked and he did heroin. Clive Barker: -Laughs- Adam Carolla: And he worked. Clive Barker: You know, the mythology is growing apace here. Adam Carolla: Oh yes. Clive Barker: Yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla: I will take over as your publicist once I move into the compound.
Clive Barker: -Laughs- Adam Carolla: Well, we’ll have separate bedrooms just to sort of
keep up appearances. Clive Barker: What is, what i
Uh Oh...
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