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Summary:
Caller Name:
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
GUEST: no guest • HOST: Adam, Dr. Drew
Show Summary Adam opens the show and Drew asks if he's afraid of the anthrax scare going around (just post-9/11, ugh). Adam farts and says he just let a little chemical warfare go in the studio. He says he... Show More
Show Summary Adam opens the show and Drew asks if he's afraid of the anthrax scare going around (just post-9/11, ugh). Adam farts and says he just let a little chemical warfare go in the studio. He says he doesn't open his mail so he's not afraid of anthrax. Drew gets a page from the hospital and Adam scolds him. They marvel at the fact that they page him two minutes into the show every night without fail.

Kate, 19, is nonplussed about her sex life with her boyfriend. Kate: "I mean I don't have anything to compare it to, but I guess it's alright." Adam: "This guy just put a Luger in his mouth." She recently started taking Ambien (she's been taking sleeping pills over the counter to no effect) and now whenever she's on Ambien the sex seems to be much better. This effect is confirmed by Jeff Probst on one of his episodes, and talks about it so much the guys deem him an addict. Adam hits Drew up for a new RX.

Kim, 32, has a truly horrid-sounding life. She lives in a two-bedroom apartment and her three kids split the two bedrooms while she sleeps/lives in the living room. Adam: "Was a hell of a plan having the three kids wasn't it? Sleeping on the sofa." She claims her 14-year-old son asked her to call to ask them if it would be damaging for him to walk in on her having sex. She has a privacy curtain, but is afraid that won't do the trick. Kim is a total space cadet.

Adam, 19, wants to know if it's okay for a gay guy to have sex with a woman. Adam says it's okay but his penis is gonna get angry. Adam: "You know what I love about the profound stupidity about our callers? Radio shows try to kiss their callers' asses and tell them they're the smartest callers in the world. I would love to do that with you guys if you were even close to a couple grades below average, I would love to play along with that ruse. But you're so retarded that the idea of me pretending that you're not seems disingenuous."

Jenn, 26, is the caller talked about in the comments who very clearly drives right past a train but is so retarded she doesn't put two and two together when the guys ask her about it. Adam: "What's going on with that train?" Jenn: "Wh...There's no train?" Drew: "We can hear it going in the background." Jenn: "Oh, I think I just passed one, sorry." Adam: "You're not making that connection, driving next to........hold on a second. Is it heehaw night? What is going ONNNNN?! It's a country bear jamboree going on. Jenn, are you driving a car?" Jenn: "Yeah." Adam: "And might you have driven past a train?" Jenn: "I wasn't driving next to a train, I passed one." Adam: "Okay but just keep in mind when we bring the train up...that might be the same train you saw."

Christy, 26, recently had a threesome with her husband and another woman, and now they don't have sex much anymore. They ask why she did it in the first place and she says it's because he had an affair. Adam: "Hold on a second. This is the one of the greatest women I've ever met in my life. It's like, 'alright, you wanna bang around behind my back? Time to pay the fiddler! Julie, come in here and start blowing him while I lick his nuts. You'll think twice before having another affair."

Some ranting from Adam on the government caring about stupid shit and not important shit.

Caller Anna, 26, has feelings for her professor and wants to date him. Not the most riveting conversation with Anna and they move on.

Geena, 27, has fatigue and muscle soreness.

Robert, 32, works nights and actually completes his 40 work week in three days. Jesus. He goes into work on Friday from midnight-8am, comes back and works 4pm-8am on Saturday (16-hour shift), then does that same exact 16-hour shift on Sunday. He says that schedule kicks his ass and he wants to know any proven methods for staying awake during those shifts. The guys talk about caffeine pills and their equivalent in cups of coffee.

Matt, 29, clears up how many mg of caffeine are in an average cup of coffee and how many are in one dosage of NoDoze. Matt then starts a comment that "Drew is very against Benzodiazepines to treat anxiety..." but Drew cuts him off and corrects him that he just sees it trigger an addict's disease when he/she is treated with them. Whenever a caller starts a statement with "Drew is very against" or "Drew always says" they ALWAYS get shot down. People hear what they want to hear and don't sweat the details. Regardless, Adam praises Matt and says he has a higher IQ than ALL of the night's previous callers combined. Lastly, Matt says he's a college professor (Philosophy) and chimes in on caller Anna's call about dating her professor. He says the universities he's taught at don't have rules against dating students. but he says it's unwise because it's a very fine line between dating and the student claiming sexual harassment

Neil, 41, says he may have raped a girl when he was 22 while on a trip to Mexico. He was in college and on a trip to Mexico with two friends who were girls. They dropped the one girl off, and then he started making out with the other girl in the guest bedroom of the house he was renting. Then he undid her pants and went down on her. The guys ask if she said no or resisted in any way. Neil says no. They ask why then does he think that it might have been a rape. He says "because we weren't in a relationship man, she wasn't interested in me." lol wtf? Adam says he's from Berkeley where the women there consider any sex rape until proven otherwise.

Kevin, 24, just recently contracted herpes on his anus from unprotected analinguis with a guy. That's bad news bears right there. He's wondering about how he can tell future partners about it. I'm not sure how you parse "I have herpes on my anus because some guy licked my asshole." Adam says he doesn't have high enough self esteem to stand still while someone licks his asshole. Drew then chimes in "Oh analinguis, I didn't know what he was talking about." Adam: "What did you think analinguis was, a new mint?" And there's the most times I've ever written analinguis in one paragraph. I could live for 100 years and I'll never break that record....probably.

Lorena, 30, wants to know the downsides of taking Xenadrine for weight loss. Drew says it's ma huang (ephedra) which can cause all sorts of terrible problems. They ask how much she weighs and she says "I'm 100lbs over my ideal weight." Adam says that's a smart answer. You say you're 250lbs and people go "ehhhhaahh" but if you just say "I'm 100lbs overweight" it's vague enough to no to freak everyone out.

Caller Mark says that not since Batman and Robin have two men contributed more to the betterment of society than Adam and Dr. Drew. Mark was involved in a "serious" electrocution at work, as opposed to a silly electrocution, and now his libido is shot. Along with the Batman thing at the top of the call, Mark makes little cheesy jokes throughout the call and Anderson hits him with the sarcastic rimshot drop.

Donald, 21, wants to know how many stations they're on across the country and when their contract is up. Adam yells at phone screener Damien a bit for being a tard. Donald makes a promise that he'll one day appear on Loveline because he's a film director. The problem he's calling about is his girlfriend cumming too fast. (Doesn't sound like a problem to me but okie dokie). I guess the problem is she's like a dude, in that after having her orgasm, she's essentially done with the whole thing. Adam: "Alright...be honest, if Donald was inside you, wouldn't you want him out too?"

The guys come back from the break and Anderson plays the Masturbation Rap. It's....stupid and irritating, and REALLY long.

Shannon, 23, has a boyfriend who plays with her breasts in his sleep, and has not recollection about it in the morning. He also grabs her hand and puts in on his penis in his sleep. This guy has a good racket going. I'm gonna give that a shot.

Overall, a great show filled with some of the stupidest callers to ever call the show.

24




4.61 (145 votes)
Recording Information
Radio Station: ?
Length: 1:32:06
Size: 42 MB
Rates: 64 kbps / 44.100 kHz / mono
Recorded By: ?
Transferred By: ?
Uploaded By: Giovanni on September 3, 2009
Views: 77,667
Downloads: 1,925
Notes: Adam's theme song, wierd caller night
Call Listing (12)
Time Duration Call
2:57 4:20
Kate, F, 19
Unimpressed with sex, Now uses Ambien, which makes it better. She's very spacy throughout the call
sex drive/libido, depression, other drugs
7:20 7:19
Kim, F
Worried about son seeing her having sex. Always confused by questions. "Jerry Springer" life.
parenting/issues with children, other sexual activities, cheating/adultery/infidelity, separation/divorce
14:37 2:53
Adam, M, 19
"Is it alright for a gay guy to have sex with a woman?" He's just a out of it as the other callers.
homosexuality, bisexuality
27:23 5:37
Christy, F, 26
Caller is concerned that her husband is not giver her oral sex enough after they had a threesome. Had threesome because husband cheated.
bisexuality, marriage
42:32 2:11
Anna, F, 26
Anna wants to date her professor.
dating
44:46 5:11
Gina, F, 27
Gina's experiencing fatigue & muscle soreness.
period/PMS
49:56 4:36
Robert, M, 32
Robert wants to know how to avoid falling asleep during 16 hr overnight shifts. The answer? Don't work 16 hr overnight shifts.
54:33 7:26
Matt, M, 29
Matt weighs in on caffeine, benzos, & professors dating students. Adam proclaims him to be smarter than all of the night's callers combined.
Xanax, dating
1:02:00 6:23
neil, M, 41
Thinks he raped someone
rape/molestation
1:08:49 4:16
kevin, M, 24
Anal herpes
herpes, homosexuality, anal sex
1:20:21 3:43
Donald, M, 21
girlfriend cums too fast
1:24:45 3:45
Anderson, M
Anderson plays Adam's Theme Song.
Comments (35)
Wednesday, 1/25/2017 at 10:03 AM EST
"Is it heehaw night" "Kids are like hostages" Andersons mastication song. Faaaantastic episode
Wednesday, 9/7/2016 at 8:37 AM EDT
I had a girlfriend when I was 19 who took an Ambien and then BEGGED me to have sex with her. I felt really weird about it because she was drugged out of her mind so I didn't know what to do. I just was not comfortable with it so I figured I'd make out with her for a few minutes until she passed out. Well, that's not quite what happened. She stayed awake for a bit and I just manually stimulated her to orgasm and I thought maybe she wouldn't remember it. She wanted more and really was coming on strong but I convinced her to go to sleep. I said she was nodding off. Of course she wasn't but she was so f'ed up she just went with it and went to sleep. I thought I did the right thing and she'd be happy I didn't let it go as far as she wanted it to. But the next morning she was pissed because I wouldn't have sex with her while she was on the sleeping pills. Like super pissed. I told her how uneasy I was and she acted like she was okay with it after that but it was clear she really wasn't. I never gave her another Ambien again despite her asking. I admit I get weird with drugs and in fact it's essentially a phobia of drugs but I think it's kind of understandable considering that's technically rape in some places. And how was I going to know how she'd react if I did do it? Anyway, she got over it but I still think it was super weird that she got pissed at me for not wanting to bang her when she was on sleeping pills.

Honestly one of the strangest women I've ever been with, as I later confirmed. That was my first clue but then there were many more. Another one was when she really wanted anal sex and kept asking for it again and again. I was young and kind of didn't understand that when you do it right it doesn't hurt most women and they actually enjoy it most of the time so she actually had to talk me into it, I swear to Christ. I was young and stupid and I'd never done that before so I didn't really know. I guess I was a bit of a prude in that way. That's not really crazy on paper but the way it happened it kind of was. Then came the time she yelled out "Daddy" during sex. Not in an "Oh yeah, Daddy" kind of way either. It was more like "I love you, Daddy." Not those words exactly but that tone. Yes, I'm serious. Being a 19-year-old kid I was an idiot though and stayed with her much longer than I should have. Oh well, lesson learned. Well... Not until a couple more crazy broads but hey, I was young. What do you want from me?
Wednesday, 3/16/2016 at 3:42 AM EDT
that mugga mugga mugga shit is classic
Wednesday, 5/20/2015 at 9:54 AM EDT
Worth for the brilliant drops alone.
Friday, 3/27/2015 at 12:08 AM EDT
This really is one of the best shows ever. These retarded callers made me laugh, and gave Adam and Drew more than enough to work with!
Monday, 7/7/2014 at 4:29 PM EDT
Christy at 27:23 is one of the greatest calls in Loveline history. "Assume the crash position Drew"
Wednesday, 3/12/2014 at 8:59 AM EDT
Kevin, 24, just recently contracted herpes on his anus from unprotected analinguis with a guy. That's bad news bears right there. He's wondering about how he can tell future partners about it.

I'm not sure how you parse "I have herpes on my anus because some guy licked my asshole." Adam says he doesn't have high enough self esteem to stand still while someone licks his asshole. Drew then chimes in "Oh analinguis, I didn't know what he was talking about." Adam: "What did you think analinguis was, a new mint?" And there's the most times I've ever written analinguis in one paragraph. I could live for 100 years and I'll never break that record....probably.
Thursday, 1/9/2014 at 7:32 PM EST
I've listened to so many episodes of this show over the years and seen all of the tv shows, and this is up there in the top ten. The "ether-night" type of callers, the banter, and the Masturbation Rap coming out of nowhere like that. Absolutely LOVE this episode!!
Sunday, 12/29/2013 at 5:51 PM EST
Started off dumb then it got stupid......One of the best shows ever:):)
Great calls.
Sunday, 11/3/2013 at 1:18 PM EST
Repeat of a show...that's a few days after Minka show.
Saturday, 11/2/2013 at 1:09 AM EDT
Banjo Night indeed..
4 kids before age of 20. every caller from the set of Jerry Springer. hubby and wife both work around metal..
Friday, 11/1/2013 at 5:14 PM EDT
Wdf1987, I used to post short comments but they asked for people to contain posts to one comment box, not multiple posts. If I transcribe something, it's not because I'm trying to have a written record of every show, it's because I found that exact exchange funny and cribbing it down or paraphrasing kills what's funny about it. If there's a lot, it's because I sat and listened to the show and found multiple things amusing.

As for "taking up all the comments" I'm not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean it pushes them farther down the page because they're long? You know comments don't get bumped off the page right? The page just gets longer. Is your gripe that you have to scroll a couple more times with the mouse? Is that a legitimate thing to complain about when you really think about it? Or do you mean they bump other comments off of the Top 100? Confining my comments to one post instead of multiple ones insures fewer comments get bumped off that list. I guess I don't understand the core concept of your complaint.
Friday, 11/1/2013 at 2:31 PM EDT
No offense, but since you're re-doing the website, or whatever, can you add like a Transcripts section where folks like Landlubber and unclepenny can do their thing? It's appreciated but a little much, yknow? Takes up all the comments
Friday, 11/1/2013 at 2:29 PM EDT
Banjo Night =)
Wednesday, 8/28/2013 at 6:53 PM EDT
This show is funny throughout. The 'mugga mugga mugga'/tinnitus bit during "Kim's" call had me laughing out loud like a crazy person on the highway while concerned citizens frowned at me while passing...
Sunday, 8/25/2013 at 4:09 PM EDT
*cerebral palsy. Cerebral policy is something the president would need to pass.
Tuesday, 8/6/2013 at 1:46 PM EDT
Adam's rant at about 38:00 talking about the gov't not listening in on your phone calls is a bit odd to listen to now...
Thursday, 5/9/2013 at 9:23 AM EDT
Stupidest collection of humans every gathered in one place tonight. All the callers have trouble cobbling together coherent sentences and none of them can answer simple questions.

Kim calls in and is either on drugs or just mentally handicapped. She has three kids and they all live in a 3-bedroom apartment. Her bedroom is the living room and she just puts a sheet up for privacy.

Adam: "Hell of a plan having the three kids, being 32 and sleeping on a pull-out sofa in the living room."

The idiot rambles on about a lot of nothing until Adam cuts her off and says "alright Kim, ask your question. Ready? GO!"

Finally she says her 14-year-old kid asked her to call to ask whether it would be damaging for him to walk in on her having sex. WTF?

They ask her some questions and all she does is repeat the questions or asks if they're talking about her when she's the only person they could possibly be talking about given the context.

Adam: "Is this what it's like to have Tinnitus? It's like they have a pair of headphones on and somebody in the back is just going "mugga mugga mugga mugga mugga mugga mugga" but every now and again they key on one word, 'balsa wood?' "mugga mugga mugga mugga mugga" 'My daughters?' "mugga mugga mugga mugga."

Adam goes on a rant about how radio shows tell their hosts to call their callers the smartest callers in radio, and that he'd love to do that if the Loveline callers were just a notch below average instead of full-blown retarded. He says it's like talking to a pet that has no idea what you're saying.

Next, a woman calls in from her car and it sounds like a train is riding right next to her. Anderson plays a drop of a train whistle throughout the call.

Caller: "We have twins and we lost one, and the survivor has severe cerebral palsy."

Adam: "What happened, the train that goes through the living room clipped him?"

Caller: "Nooo."

Adam: "What is going on with that train?"

Caller: "There's no train."

Drew: "There's a train, we can hear it in the background."

Caller: "Oh, I just passed one."

Adam: "You're not making that connection, driving right next to the train?"

Drew: "Oh boy."

Adam: "Is it hee-haw night? It's the country bear jamboree going on"

Caller: "I'm not white trash."

Adam: "Oh yesss you are. Are you driving?"

Caller: "Yes, I'm coming home from work and just picked my kid up."

Adam: "Were you driving next to a train?"

Caller: "I wasn't driving next to a train! I passed one!"

Adam: "Okay but just keep in mind if you pass a train and we bring up a train, that might be the train we're talking about."

And as others have already pointed out, the "time to pay the fiddler" call is an all-time great.
Thursday, 5/2/2013 at 6:06 AM EDT
Can anyone find the masturbation rap without them talking over it?
Tuesday, 4/30/2013 at 1:14 AM EDT
Kristy at 27:00 is probably my favorite call of all time because of Adam's "time to pay the fiddler" routine.
Tuesday, 2/12/2013 at 1:16 PM EST
Interesting how Adam foreshadows leaving loveline when his contact expires in three years. Technically, it was four years but still. He mentions it when the electrocuted welder calls in..
Friday, 12/28/2012 at 4:36 PM EST
Adam and Drew come down on hard on callers who are get flustered and repeat questions. I'm sure it gets annoying for them, but they should consider that most callers are not comfortable speaking on live national radio and get a bit nervous.

That banjo gets me every time...
Wednesday, 10/10/2012 at 5:34 PM EDT
Great calls and rants--classic show.
Saturday, 8/18/2012 at 6:00 AM EDT
One of the greatest shows. Nearly every call is comically stupid and Adam gives perhaps his best rendition of the "slippery slope" rant. 5/5
Thursday, 5/31/2012 at 4:22 PM EDT
Hee Haw Night!
Wednesday, 5/2/2012 at 5:05 PM EDT
Had to revisit this show, caller Christy at 27:00 min one of the funniest calls ever.
"Okay, you wanna bang around behind my back, time to pay the fiddler! Julie start blowing him while I lick his nuts"
"We forced him to eat three quarters of a pepperoni pizza and drink 4 Bud tall boys!"
Wednesday, 4/4/2012 at 4:48 PM EDT
This show basically sums up how and why Adam believes they have the dumbest callers. Great show!
Tuesday, 6/14/2011 at 12:54 PM EDT
One of my favorite shows. The callers start off bad and just plummet from there.
Saturday, 6/11/2011 at 4:19 PM EDT
Great show. Some of the dumbest callers in awhile that make for comedy gold. Also, some more great rants about Kevorkian and slippery slope bs.
Friday, 6/3/2011 at 6:18 PM EDT
Hilarious! Huh?.. + What?.. = retarded caller night!! great episode!
Friday, 6/3/2011 at 2:58 PM EDT
great episode hilarious rants, retarded callers, just pure great!
Wednesday, 5/18/2011 at 7:12 PM EDT
this episode has to be in the top 10 of funny.
Thursday, 8/19/2010 at 3:11 AM EDT
Kim complains about lack of privacy and how it's hard to have sex in front of her kids. When Adam asks if her family can watch the kids she says that her sister lives with her ex husband downstairs.

Next caller is a gay male and asks if it's ok to have sex with a women. Adam jokes about it hurting the penis' feelings.

Adam then goes on a rant about how stupid the callers are.

Jenn's husband doesn't like to have sex. Turns out they lost a child and their living child has cerebral policy. In the middle of the call they hear a train. When asked what the train was she is oblivious. "I didn't drive past a train, I just went past one." Causing Adam to rant again about the stupid callers. Then she brings up the idea of her husband cheating, and follows that up with "I never thought about that".

Monday, 5/31/2010 at 2:56 PM EDT
Extremely dumb callers, even for Loveline; Lightning Round; "Calling all nerds"; "Bleed American" (Adam's theme); the masturbation techno song.
Adam's theme song, weird caller night.

Extremely dumb callers, even for Loveline; Lightning Round; "Calling all nerds"; "Bleed American" (Adam's theme); the masturbation techno song.

Kim complains about lack of privacy and how it's hard to have sex in front of her kids. When Adam asks if her family can watch the kids she says that her sister lives with her ex husband downstairs.

Next caller is a gay male and asks if it's ok to have sex with a women. Adam jokes about it hurting the penis' feelings.

Adam then goes on a rant about how stupid the callers are.

Jenn's husband doesn't like to have sex. Turns out they lost a child and their living child has cerebral policy. In the middle of the call they hear a train. When asked what the train was she is oblivious. "I didn't drive past a train, I just went past one." Causing Adam to rant again about the stupid callers. Then she brings up the idea of her husband cheating, and follows that up with "I never thought about that".
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