Monday, August 6th, 2001 - #1527
Guest: no guest
Host: Adam, Dr. Drew
Listen to theShow
Show Summary:
A couple different caller girls worried about family members being gay, caller Hailey makes a funny dig at Stryker
Adam starts off the show with a rant about how coming on Loveline is the easiest, most fun gig in the world, and celebrities that turn it down in favor of going on things like the Tonight Show are either idiots or afraid that people will find out how unfunny they are in real life. Afterward, Adam reveals that he is going to take a stool test, and Drew comments on Adam's low cholesterol. After finding out that his cholesterol levels are in the range that doctors believe reverse any previously built up cholesterol, he claims he has Drano running through his veins. He then muses about why he can't eat red meat for 5 days. When Drew informs him that they can, in fact, tell the difference between cow blood and human blood, Adam interprets this as doctors being too lazy to do so for stool testing.
Caller Eric (18) is distraught that he gets to be the "first idiot" caller of the night. He has a question about the urge to pee after ejaculation. Almost before he gets his answer, he jumps in again to ask Adam why he doesn't get Glen Humplick and Andy Richter to come onto the Man Show and join "Jim Kimbal" as a trio of funny chunky guys. Adam explains that funny guys need to be spread out, not concentrated, because they will cause an overload. They hang up on him and finish answering his original question.
Krystal (13) has a 15-year-old boyfriend who wants an open relationship. Drew tells her to tell him to go to hell. Adam jumps in with a rant out of nowhere about how people on cable TV shows involving long-distance correspondance always sound stilted and awkward because of the delay, but nobody that hasn't been on TV seems to know about this delay.
Emily (20) wants to have sex with her boyfriend of 5 months, but is afraid that he'll see the scars on her thighs from cutting. Adam suggests that she claims they're from a prison break or a siamese cat. They assure her that nothing is going to freak a guy out enough to not want to have sex with her once they're about to start.
Drew brings up a story about an uncle in Florida who saved his nephew from a shark by pulling it on board and pulling the boy's arm out of the shark's mouth. Adam lamets his own lack of anything even remotely resembling a family member like that, then wonders about the adrenaline rush that would accompany such a feat.
Rebecca (16) is straight, but finds herself checking out women, and is freaked out. Drew assures her this is normal at 16, and she says she thinks that because there are multiple homosexuals in her family, she might be more prone to being a lesbian.
Danny (14) calls in with a poem about Adam that he says is neither good nor accurate.
"Adam Carolla is my god,
in the Man Show directing room he shot his wad
He enjoys Playboy and midget stump porn,
God bless the day this wonderful man was born.
The women all want him, the men want to be him,
and he's never even had to step foot in a gym.
He doesn't depend on lube, he beats his meat dry,
Him and Drew never see things eye to eye.
He's on Comedy Central every Sunday night,
between me and the juggies, it was love at first sight.
All of Adam's words just flow,
from 'Welcome to Loveline' to 'Mahalo.'
I love Adam, yes it's true,
but gay porn still makes me go 'eww.'"
Adam and Drew are impressed with it since he's 14, but Adam takes issue with the claim that he likes the midget stump porn.
Elizabeth (14) has a little brother who has been acting gay and wants to know if it's her fault because she put makeup on him when they were younger (last year) and oogles guys when he's around.
Adam reminisces about tormenting younger siblings as a child, recounting a story about unsuccessfully trying to wake his friend Chris's younger brother with firecrackers.
Haley (16) is a return caller, now having advanced from being interested in older men to now being unable to say no when they want sexual favors from her, and then becoming attached. When she called a year prior, Stryker was useless, and now wants Adam's input.
Steve (35) wants to know about the statute of limitations on seeing a buddy's ex-girlfriend. His friend set him up with an ex from 13 years ago that has been married and divorced since, but then got weird once they got together, claiming that he "thought [they] would just be friends."
Adam explains why he likes the carwash (they can sell all kinds of weird crap like bongs and crossbows along with air fresheners and tennis bracelets). He then laments his tendency to run into a person and not remember their name until just after the conversation finishes.
Chris (34) asked a woman out, and she didn't immediately know, so he wants to know if he can ask her out again.
Lisa (22) starts off talking about Phone Screener Damien asking her about her nipples, and Adam explains that he hasn't beat off tonight and is distracted. The discussion turns to masturbation and peeing in toilets and sinks before getting back to her question, which is about the size of her areolas (they are large).
Tammy (23) has been married for 4 years, and lately has become bothered by her husband's habit of going to strip clubs. She went with him over the weekend and witnessed a lapdance, and now's she's upset. Talking about strip clubs leads Adam and Drew to end up in a long, meandering conversation about dinners and money.
Chastity (15) has been suffering from anorexia and wants to get treated without her parents knowing.
Ryan (15) is a jackoff kid who wants to know if the noises his girlfriend makes when they make out are normal. Adam calls bogus shortly into the call, and Drew wants Ryan to imitate the weird noises. After belittling Ryan, Adam gets mad at Drew for not understanding a Land of the Lost reference.
Kim (41) wants to know about the relationship between smoking pot and bronchitis.
Cody (16) wants to know about the pee shivers.
Brian (20) has been taking dexadrine and wants to know the long-term side effects. They move on to discuss different drugs and their slang names.
Caller Ty knows what bennys are, answering Adam's question from earlier.
Getting back from break, Adam is talking to Anderson about some sort of technical problem, possibly with his headphones. Drew wants to know if Adam did his pee shudder during the break, but Adam says he consciously made sure not to so Drew couldn't get any enjoyment from it.
Jessica (25) is having relationship problems because her boyfriend is on adult personals websites on the internet.
Anna (29) wanted to let Adam know about an all-male strip bar in Canada. She talks about how addictive she found it, to the point that the sexual frustration brought her to tears.
Recording Info:
Added: 8/2/2017
Recorded By: ?
Transferred By: ?
Size: 42.23 MB
Length: 1:32:15
Bitrate: 64kb/s CBR
Adam starts off the show with a rant about how coming on Loveline is the easiest, most fun gig in the world, and celebrities that turn it down in favor of going on things like the Tonight Show are either idiots or afraid that people will find out how unfunny they are in real life. Afterward, Adam reveals that he is going to take a stool test, and Drew comments on Adam’s low cholesterol. After finding out that his cholesterol levels are in the range that doctors believe reverse any previously built up cholesterol, he claims he has Drano running through his veins. He then muses about why he can’t eat red meat for 5 days. When Drew informs him that they can, in fact, tell the difference between cow blood and human blood, Adam interprets this as doctors being too lazy to do so for stool testing.
Caller Eric (18) is distraught that he gets to be the “first idiot” caller of the night. He has a question about the urge to pee after ejaculation. Almost before he gets his answer, he jumps in again to ask Adam why he doesn’t get Glen Humplick and Andy Richter to come onto the Man Show and join “Jim Kimbal” as a trio of funny chunky guys. Adam explains that funny guys need to be spread out, not concentrated, because they will cause an overload. They hang up on him and finish answering his original question.
Krystal (13) has a 15-year-old boyfriend who wants an open relationship. Drew tells her to tell him to go to hell. Adam jumps in with a rant out of nowhere about how people on cable TV shows involving long-distance correspondance always sound stilted and awkward because of the delay, but nobody that hasn’t been on TV seems to know about this delay.
Emily (20) wants to have sex with her boyfriend of 5 months, but is afraid that he’ll see the scars on her thighs from cutting. Adam suggests that she claims they’re from a prison break or a siamese cat. They assure her that nothing is going to freak a guy out enough to not want to have sex with her once they’re about to start.
Drew brings up a story about an uncle in Florida who saved his nephew from a shark by pulling it on board and pulling the boy’s arm out of the shark’s mouth. Adam lamets his own lack of anything even remotely resembling a family member like that, then wonders about the adrenaline rush that would accompany such a feat.
Rebecca (16) is straight, but finds herself checking out women, and is freaked out. Drew assures her this is normal at 16, and she says she thinks that because there are multiple homosexuals in her family, she might be more prone to being a lesbian.
Danny (14) calls in with a poem about Adam that he says is neither good nor accurate.
“Adam Carolla is my god,
in the Man Show directing room he shot his wad
He enjoys Playboy and midget stump porn,
God bless the day this wonderful man was born.
The women all want him, the men want to be him,
and he’s never even had to step foot in a gym.
He doesn’t depend on lube, he beats his meat dry,
Him and Drew never see things eye to eye.
He’s on Comedy Central every Sunday night,
between me and the juggies, it was love at first sight.
All of Adam’s words just flow,
from ‘Welcome to Loveline’ to ‘Mahalo.’
I love Adam, yes it’s true,
but gay porn still makes me go ‘eww.'”
Adam and Drew are impressed with it since he’s 14, but Adam takes issue with the claim that he likes the midget stump porn.
Elizabeth (14) has a little brother who has been acting gay and wants to know if it’s her fault because she put makeup on him when they were younger (last year) and oogles guys when he’s around.
Adam reminisces about tormenting younger siblings as a child, recounting a story about unsuccessfully trying to wake his friend Chris’s younger brother with firecrackers.
Haley (16) is a return caller, now having advanced from being interested in older men to now being unable to say no when they want sexual favors from her, and then becoming attached. When she called a year prior, Stryker was useless, and now wants Adam’s input.
Steve (35) wants to know about the statute of limitations on seeing a buddy’s ex-girlfriend. His friend set him up with an ex from 13 years ago that has been married and divorced since, but then got weird once they got together, claiming that he “thought [they] would just be friends.”
Adam explains why he likes the carwash (they can sell all kinds of weird crap like bongs and crossbows along with air fresheners and tennis bracelets). He then laments his tendency to run into a person and not remember their name until just after the conversation finishes.
Chris (34) asked a woman out, and she didn’t immediately know, so he wants to know if he can ask her out again.
Lisa (22) starts off talking about Phone Screener Damien asking her about her nipples, and Adam explains that he hasn’t beat off tonight and is distracted. The discussion turns to masturbation and peeing in toilets and sinks before getting back to her question, which is about the size of her areolas (they are large).
Tammy (23) has been married for 4 years, and lately has become bothered by her husband’s habit of going to strip clubs. She went with him over the weekend and witnessed a lapdance, and now’s she’s upset. Talking about strip clubs leads Adam and Drew to end up in a long, meandering conversation about dinners and money.
Chastity (15) has been suffering from anorexia and wants to get treated without her parents knowing.
Ryan (15) is a jackoff kid who wants to know if the noises his girlfriend makes when they make out are normal. Adam calls bogus shortly into the call, and Drew wants Ryan to imitate the weird noises. After belittling Ryan, Adam gets mad at Drew for not understanding a Land of the Lost reference.
Kim (41) wants to know about the relationship between smoking pot and bronchitis.
Cody (16) wants to know about the pee shivers.
Brian (20) has been taking dexadrine and wants to know the long-term side effects. They move on to discuss different drugs and their slang names.
Caller Ty knows what bennys are, answering Adam’s question from earlier.
Getting back from break, Adam is talking to Anderson about some sort of technical problem, possibly with his headphones. Drew wants to know if Adam did his pee shudder during the break, but Adam says he consciously made sure not to so Drew couldn’t get any enjoyment from it.
Jessica (25) is having relationship problems because her boyfriend is on adult personals websites on the internet.
Anna (29) wanted to let Adam know about an all-male strip bar in Canada. She talks about how addictive she found it, to the point that the sexual frustration brought her to tears.
Adam says he’s usually embarrassed to be around his maid because it’s a weird feeling to subjugate someone. She has to break things over her knee that come out of his hamper just to get them in the washing machine.
But tonight, he pulled a power move which made him feel good about himself. He sat on the couch watching TV while his maid vacuumed around him. He did the move where you don’t get up and move, but you just lift your legs up to let the person vacuum underneath them. lol.
Older lady (41) calls in. She wonders if she can get bronchitis if she smokes marijuana regularly.
Adam: “You must be calling because you have bronchitis.”
Lisa: “Yeah I do. I’m afraid to go to my family doctor because he knows I don’t smoke cigarettes and he’ll wonder how come I got this bronchitis.”
Drew: “Why don’t you talk to him about your weed problem?”
Lisa: “I don’t think I have a weed problem.”
Drew: “You’re smoking so much you have bronchitis. You are having medical complications because of our weed use. Don’t you think that’s something appropriate to talk to your doctor about?”
Adam: “How much weed do you smoke?”
Lisa: “I only smoke weed when I listen to you guys.”
Drew: “So every night.” as Adam laughs.
Very lighthearted episode… but felt average to me.