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Some of the terms you might hear on Loveline.
A Poorman favorite term, callers with crabs were said to be new members of the A-200 Club, in reference to the anti-crab topical medication.
(rhymes with Manilow)
One of Riki Rachtman's nicknames for producer Ann Wilkins, a Barry Manilow fan.
Adam's alter-ego, making fun of "wacky" morning radio show hosts. The name was given to him by rapper Ice-T.
After listening to endless hours of ranchero music during construction work, Adam discovered that nearly every song contained an accordion in the background. Adam decided he could make a game out of it, and thus, on the October 19, 2004 show, the game was born. The objective of "Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown" was to guess how many seconds it took until an accordion played in a ranchero song, which would be started from a random point. Usually played with a guest or occasionally a caller, the most common (and usually correct) answer was "immediately."
An updated version of the popular pool game, Marco Polo. "Adam, Carolla" is yelled in the same, classic, sing-song way and "Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi!" has been substituted for "fish out of water".
Origin: 5/15/2005 (though possibly from "The Adam Carolla Project" on TLC)
An idea Adam had for an invention, a dildo one wears on their arm.
Origin: 1/9/2002 (?)
An idea raised by Adam Carolla, who suggested that someone should train crows as bodyguards.
Anal virginity, a portmanteau of the words "behind" and "hymen".
The degree to which a Loveline caller's story is bogus. There is a long-running rule by the hosts of the show that bogus calls are acceptable, but the caller must be able to convincingly portray a real question and deceive the hosts into believing it is genuine. Blurting out a non-sequitur declaration once on the air is considered the mark of an imbecile and is not acceptable, and often the engineer on duty will simply "dump" the caller's utterance as though it were profanity, preventing it from ever being heard by anyone. Another long standing rule is that the caller must confess immediately if any host doubts their story and calls them out as bogus. This is for safety reasons, because if a caller seems to be in genuine distress or a crime is being described, the hosts are obligated to call the police. Refusal to confess that a call is bogus when confronted is considered a grave infraction. People that confess after a creative call and remain on the line are usually congratulated by the hosts, whether they were discovered as false or revealed it themselves at the end.
The short snippet music that is played when it comes back from commercial.
Cock ring. The word "cock" would get censored on the air, so Adam used this term.
Origin: 8/4/1999 (?)
A Native American gynecologist voiced by Adam Carolla. He only speaks in his native language, so Dr. Drew translates.
Origin: 7/14/1997 (?)
Other shows: 2/20/2002, 3/3/2002, 5/15/2003, 5/26/2004, 6/7/2004, 9/7/2004, 11/11/2004, 11/17/2004, 11/18/2004, 11/24/2004, 1/10/2005
A practical joke described by Stryker as when you walk upside down on all four limbs, ejaculate on your stomach, and walk into a room with your friends.
Dr. Drew often can look into his "crystal ball" and foresee the future of callers based on their behaviors and family history. He typically points out he sees things like a pole in a girl's future or bad addiction
Adam's version of the popular douchebag, claimed to be more insulting as it is the "business end of the douche." Suggested to be effective in traffic, as in "Shake your ass, ya douchenozzle!"
Short for "dropping trousers," what "Ace Rockolla" is wont to do.
Adams definition of an Ego Retarded caller.
Without talking to a caller for more than 15–20 seconds Dr. Drew and Carolla would put them on hold and place $1 bets on the caller's past. The theory being that they have fielded so many calls by so many people that they could hear the specific problem in the caller's voice and detect what events led to their present.
First mentioned on October 19, 2003 and first played on October 26, 2003, Germany or Florida is a game that originated at Jimmy Kimmel Live with the staff of writers who discovered a correlation in the news stories they would read for joke material. Adam observed that "All weird stories emanate from either Germany or Florida." Originally intended as a game to be used on Kimmel's show, it was rejected and Adam decided to bring it to Loveline. The object of the game is to have a listener read off a strange, macabre, or just plain weird news story and have the hosts (and guests) choose whether the story originated from Germany or Florida. According to some listeners' best guesses, Adam is about 55% correct, and Dr. Drew is about 40%. Theme songs introducing the game have been created by guests and callers, most notably David Alan Grier's opera and beat-box renditions.
Origin: 10/19/2003 (first mention), 10/26/2003 (first played)
Used to indicate that everything is (or will be) all right, frequently as a method of ending a call. Occasionally used ironically by Dr. Drew when something has obviously gone wrong.
Adam Carolla's term for herpes.
A measure of stink created by Adam. A 1-100 scale, where 50 is a cat crapping on a white-hot hibachi grill (50 hobo-power is enough to make someone vomit), and 100 is a theoretical "absolute zero" that has never been attained. It is theorized that 100 Hobo-power would be deadly.
Adam will often end his stock advice to sympathetic female callers (almost always of a heterosexual orientation) from chaotic family lives out of their control with this salvo. Something along the lines of "You have to stay away from the bad people in your life, get your grades up, get into volleyball, and when you're 18 go away to some lesbian college in the Northeast."
Although not technically a game, it was a favorite show-ender for Carolla much to the chagrin of Dr. Drew. It consisted of his imitation of the non-stop morning DJ ("slow 'n' go watch for brake lights, mattress in lane!", "7:29, 29 past the hour", "50,000 watt flamethrower!", "Van Nuys checkin' in at 63, Laguna Beach checkin' in at 63, Burbank checkin' in at a toasty 63...", "Let's check the time real fast!", "I'M A CRAZY MAN! I WILL DROP TROW!"), a vicious cowbell, and audio drops of thunderclaps.
Other shows: 9/15/1999, 9/21/1999, 10/17/1999, 11/2/1999, 12/30/1999, 1/4/2000, 3/22/2000, 3/27/2000, 4/18/2000, 5/21/2000, 5/31/2000, 11/30/2000, 1/8/2001, 5/21/2001, 8/23/2001, 9/9/2001, 10/17/2001, 11/15/2001, 12/11/2001, 1/2/2002, 5/20/2002, 1/9/2003, 5/1/2003, 10/15/2003, 4/11/2004, 9/9/2004, 11/24/2004
Adam's nickname for Dr. Drew's prep school.
Origin: 1/19/1998 (?)
One night, a little over a year after Adam started on the show, he flew into a rant insisting that "Long-time listener, first-time caller" was a traditional part of the radio call-in show, but that in his time on Loveline nobody had ever used it. Starting with the very next caller, and running for years after, the phrase became the most common way for callers to start off their question.
Adam's traditional sign-off phrase of both the Loveline
radio and MTV shows. When Adam left in 2005, Dr. Drew created his own sign-off, "be well." As of August 2007, he has most recently used, "Stay well," as his sign-off when unaccompanied by Stryker.
Adam's fictitious rap name, as in "That's my main man, Manayz" said by Snoop Dogg. It's white like Adam and ends in a Z like a rapper's name.
The key term given by a bogus Loveline caller to declare its bogosity
and end the call. (Usually preceded by "his/her asshole was the size of a…") Thomas from Tucson, AZ called into the show and came up with elaborate fake phone calls. At the end of the call, in order to let them know that it was all a joke, he would say, "She had a butthole the size of a mason jar." Other people began to call in with fake calls and would signify that they had gotten the better of the hosts by ending the call with "a butthole the size of a mason jar." Years later on the 8/28/2002
show, Thomas explained that on October 17, 1996, at the Hotel Congress in Tucson, Adam had made a comment about mason jars that he thought was "the funniest thing ever." Thomas stole the idea and started using it in his calls.
Origin: 10/12/1997 (?)
Adam has mentioned several times that he considers Mountain Dew to be "The Nectar of the 'Tards" and anyone who drinks it is probably destined for junior college. He has also, on several occasions, suggested adding a sterility agent to the drink, but in such a small amount that it would only affect those who drink it frequently.
Stryker's nickname given to sound engineer, Anderson Cowan. This is "Anderson" backwards.
How Adam describes Dr. Drew. The term can also be used in reference to Ben Stein.
Origin: 10/19/2000 (?)
Phrase used ironically to indicate that the caller's problem is out of the ordinary or that a sexual behavior may have serious psychological implications.
Nickname of the phone screener, Tyler.
A blend of "phallus" and "fallacy". Lying about the size of one's phallus.
Adam Carolla's "sophisticated" calculations used to determine a female caller's actual height and weight based on the caller's claimed (and assumed to be false) height and weight.
The pet name used by Carolla to refer to the city of Burbank, based on his supposition that the city officials' main goal is to financially and spiritually rape their citizens.
Origin: 5/25/2004 (?)
More extreme than ridiculous. Replacing the "dic" with "cock".
A car that Adam Carolla imagined after hearing a caller's name.
Every once in a while, while a caller is asking a totally unrelated question, Adam and Drew hear a tiny, high-pitched beep in the background and jump all over the caller. They have been conditioned to recognize the tell-tale sound of a smoke detector chirping to remind the owner to replace the battery. This is a personal pet peeve of Adam and Drew, an example they use to show how stupid some of their callers are. They make sure to draw attention to it by making the caller be quiet until they can time the space between beeps (usually between 30–45 seconds), and then every 20 seconds of the caller's question they will interrupt him or her so they can hear the beep. Some callers will deny that something is beeping, but then later in the call, Adam and Drew will find out there is a smoke detector over the caller's bed. Adam has commented that a pet lizard in the person's room would kill itself, yet the caller is totally oblivious. He also joked about how the children of the "smoke detector people" will buy recorded sounds of a smoke detector beep to help them sleep at night.
Origin: 8/23/1998 (?)
Someone who is "part spaz, all loser".
A phrase coined for aggressive callers who are an unfortunate combination of stupid and angry.
A phrase Poorman coined to refer to giving a female oral sex.
Tim was a Russian boy who was friend's with Adam's "little brother". Adam enjoys making fun of his accent and rap lyrics.
Origin: 7/28/1998 (?)
(rhymes with décolletage)
One of the Poorman's favorite terms for penis.
Adam's alias when the Roman Catholic Church was choosing a new Pope.
A girl that is so hot that she could crap on a waffle and you would eat it and ask for more. Dr. Drew came up with the term while Will Arnett was telling a story.
Adam's preferred name for the Westwood One studio, which he feels so inadequate and rundown that it does not deserve its "One" status. Also frequently called it Westwood None.
A city in San Bernardino County, California from which callers frequently claimed to be calling when unwilling or reluctant to disclose their actual location. Adam and Drew frequently permitted callers to claim they were from Yucaipa despite the statistical improbability of so many callers coming from this rather small city.